So my daughter comes home from school crying. Send in the big brother?

Brahma_sl said:

Ya know...This board has more closet sociopaths...

Click to expand...

And this is the 'Grown Up' section!

BTW, my wife is a Speech Pathologist, I'll see if she has any advice when she gets home.

I noticed in the OP you said Teased and not bullied, there is a pretty big difference. Everyone seems to be jumping straight to hard core steal your lunch money bullying. Is that really the case?

Keep in mind that around the 5th grade little boys start to notice little girls, but they do not really understand why they are noticing them or what the hell they should do about. The most common way for them to handle that situation is to tease.

i took care of my bully problems in 3 ways. ran like hell. tried to tell jokes and do goofy stuff to befriend them and i started lifting weights.

running away or tattling to a grownup didnt work, because i was being teased for being the new kid at school and being the fat kid and a nerd. grownups the best help i got was the teacher telling the kids to leave me alone and i got the shit beat out of me arfter school for snitching.

telling jokes/being funny worked much better. being the fat kid meant i could tell good jokes or fall down for laughs if the dumber kids didnt get the jokes.

lifting weights helped the best, i couldnt really fight beyond what i mimicked from watching wwf wrestling on tv. but i looked like i could wreck your fucking day if i wanted to. i was just happy people left me alone. one kid in high school that was in my group of friends was not my friend, he used to pick on me every day and i would ignore it because i had a bad anger problem sometimes and if i exploded on this kid i was afraid i couldnt stop until he got really hurt. so i just pretended he wasnt there. it worked for the most part, but then i found out why he didnt like me, he liked my girlfriend and she had rebuffed him a bunch of times, he had then started picking on her. that was when i freaked out and put him in a chokehold and got in his face and screamed at the top of my lungs that he was to never speak to me or my gf again or i would fucking destroy him. i made him answer in the affirmative and i walked away. i felt so sick after that. my best friend told me later on that he was proud of me for sticking up for myself, i just felt ill, he also said my chokehold picked the kid off the ground which is no doubt bullshit even though he still tells me the same thing to this day 26 years later.

what i would do now in this day and age? i guess i would get a cellphone camera, film the bullying and then show it to the bully's parents/principal/youtube so it puts the heat on the school to cut that shit out.

Nester_sl said:

I noticed in the OP you said Teased and not bullied, there is a pretty big difference. Everyone seems to be jumping straight to hard core steal your lunch money bullying. Is that really the case?

Keep in mind that around the 5th grade little boys start to notice little girls, but they do not really understand why they are noticing them or what the hell they should do about. The most common way for them to handle that situation is to tease.

Click to expand...

Is this why I tease little boys?

I agree with Mist. Get your daughter into a gang.

T-t-t-t-t-today junior

Every kid that I went to school with that I would label as a bully had worthless parents, either white-trash didn't care if their kids ran wild, or yuppie trash whose shit couldn't possibly stink nor their kids. Either way I wouldn't imagine my parents going to their parents would have ever accomplished much should have the need arose.

I am an older brother and every fight I ever got into was sticking up for my younger brother, so I personally don't see anything wrong with sending in the older brotherBUTas has been pointed out, this is a much different day of age that we live in. Does your boy have a good enough head on his shoulders to know how to threaten without threatening? Could he pull off a "I heard you are teasing my sister, you are going to stop that or you will be seeing me again..." without escalating beyond that regardless of the 5th grade boys' reactions?

Really what you probably should do is bully the school. Yell, screams, escalate, pull the race card, threaten to sue, etc. Also document everything.

Send the boy.

And for the love of God do not let your daughter grow up to be Astrocreep.

Eyashusa_sl said:

Send the boy.

And for the love of God do not let your daughter grow up to be Astrocreep.

Click to expand...

pfft, im fine now. come here and i will show you.

Brahma_sl said:

Long story short, my little girl who is 8 and in the 3rd grade, comes home sad Wednesday. She holds it in for an hour or so, then starts crying. After making some smoothies with dad, comes to find out that she was teased a couple days this week by a couple 5th grade boys. My daughter has a speech impediment. She rarely talks because of it.

I tell the school obviously. They say they will handle it. Last night she said she was teased again. Though this time she isn't as upset. Just a bit sad. She has no idea why they would tease her. I don't tell her why, just that boys are mean.

I just called the school, they say that she wasn't teased that they know of, but will look at it.

I honestly can't take the time off from work the next couple weeks to go up to the school, but I can have her brother pick her up after school.

Question is this. Do I have his little sister point the kids out, and have him put the fear of Brahma Jr. in them with a whisper in the ear, or give the school a THIRD chance at resolving the issue?

Suggestions?

Click to expand...

My seven year old had a friend that had issues. Namely, she used to scratch her face at school. At first, we thought it was from rolling around in the yard at recess. She even said that's what it was. But she was too young to process what was going on, and that was her BF. One day, I went to pick her up at school, and she had deep ridges all over face. It definitely wasn't from rolling around. The School Therapist sat my daughter down, and they got her to admit what was happening.

We weren't going to let them get in a fight, but I did tell the Principal if she came home with one more scratch, they'd be talking to my Lawyer. That ended it. You can't just encourage fighting, because they can get in trouble doing it. Growing up, my GrandDad (who was a sailor) taught us you whipped the ever living shit out of anyone that even thought about hitting you. He'd confront the kid who started the fight, not to chastise him, but to make sure the kid looked more beat up than his kids. If his kid came home with one black eye, you needed to give the other kid two black eyes. And he'd make you fight them every day for two weeks until you won. Of course, he fought in Pearl Harbor, so he had a different view on things. You can't do this stuff any more.

All you can do is use every legal means you can. Getting a Lawyer to write a letter costs $75.

I'm just teasing you. Or is it bullying? Just don't tell my parents.

Brahma_sl said:

She has very little control of her muscles in her lower jaw/lip. She trembles when trying to hard to pronounce something properly. Making it very hard for her to pronounce consonants. She gets therapy from the school (why we moved to this little town), and once a week a speech therapist I pay for. I see little progress slowly. But it is there.

Click to expand...

Thanks for sharing.

Her jaw/lip muscle problem is nothing to be ashamed of, but at the same time she should be aware of why people would make fun of her. Then she can anticipate it, and respond with something more effective than getting confused and crying.

The thing here that bothers me is the age difference. 5th graders picking on 3rd graders should not happen, and you need to shut that down through the school. I don't know if it needs to be a legal threat, but if the school is already giving her therapy, they should be aware that she could be vulnerable. Start by asking the school's therapist what can be done. Insist that something must be done. Document the request. See what they can do.

The good news about the age difference is that warding off 5th graders shouldn't affect her standing with other 3rd graders. Does she have some good classmate friends? They could be good support/witnesses.

Don't involve the brother unless he's around when she's getting bullied. Then it's appropriate for him to defend her.

In the meantime, make sure your daughter works on her impediment, and get her going on a sport or martial art that might give her some toughness. Work on some things she can do when she gets bullied, including going to the nearest teacher if needed.

Whatever happens, don't let her cry and accept it.

Eyashusa_sl said:

I'm just teasing you. Or is it bullying? Just don't tell my parents.

Click to expand...

its all good, come on by. We can talk about burying the hatchet. You know what a hatchet is, don't you, Eyashusa?

Mist_sl said:

How's he going to get in trouble for saying 'don't mess with my little sister?'

Click to expand...

As has already been mentioned in this thread, even if all he does is say "don't mess with my little sister", it could lead to her being picked on even worse if the kids realize the big brother can't actually do anything without getting in trouble. However, it could also go badly if the kids try and provoke the brother into a fight or straight up start one with him. No matter who throws the first punch, the older kid is going to get the onus of blame.

Maester Chuk_sl said:

You know what a hatchet is, don't you, Eyashusa?

Click to expand...

Is that an Uncle Buck reference? If so, I like it.

Gravy_sl said:

Is that an Uncle Buck reference? If so, I like it.

Click to expand...

Fair enough. I like to carry it, you never know when you're going to need it. A situation may come up say for example, someone has been drinking, and about to drive a loved one home... then I'd like to know I have it. Not to kill, no. Just to maim. Take a little off the shoulder. Swish! The elbow. Slash! Shave a little meat off the old kneecap. Fowap! Ooooo! You got both kneecaps? I like to keep mine razor sharp. Sharp enough you can shave with it. Why I've been known to circumcise a gnat.

joeboo_sl said:

Step 1 - Kill the parents, chop them up and make them into chili and trick the kid into eating the chili
Step 2 - Feast on the salty tears of sadness when you tell the kid the truth
Optional step - train a donkey to bite the kids dick off

Click to expand...

Can't believe it took 57 posts for someone to post this.