The Ask Kuriin, A Gay Man, Anything Thread
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Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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Not sure what would make you think I was trolling other than a knee jerk reaction. That theory was new to me, and I commented on it. I've always been opposed to the idea that gayness is a sickness or disease or defect or whatever else you wanna call it. Because as soon as people find a 'cause' for gayness, they're going to look for a way to stop it. That way lies dark territory, my friend. This latest theory is less heinous than the 'gay gene' thing, because if that had turned out to be true, the only option would be to abort the babies with the gay gene. If this one pans out, there might wind up being a supplement a woman can take. Hell, even if there's not, if the theory becomes widely accepted, you just know there are going to be schiesters who sell one anyway. Like I said, (or tried to say), if there's a supplement that can reduce your son's chance of being gay, what parent isn't going to take it?
Oh and i don't buy that all gays will answer they always knew. If they do that now, it's a very new thing. Most gays i've asked about it have been able to tell me a specific time when they realized they were gay. Before that, they did not know.
Kuriin
Just a Nurse
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You miss the point. You do not understand that you are heterosexual until you start experiencing those sexual feelings/urges which is typically during puberty. There is an attraction, however, towards that specific gender which the person can't verbally explain until later on. For gay men or women, they have an attraction toward their own gender, but can't verbalize that they are gay until they actually understand what gay is all about. Not to mention, who wants to come out of the closet when they're younger, or when they're in an environment which does not accept gays?
For the older generation, they always know they are gay but are unable to accept it so they marry the opposite gender. After a specific time, feelings of unhappiness and most likely infidelity, they will generally come out of the closet; either voluntarily or involuntarily (caught).
I've always had an attraction toward guys.Always. However, I didn't come to realize I was gay until I was around 12 or 13. There's a huge difference.
For the older generation, they always know they are gay but are unable to accept it so they marry the opposite gender. After a specific time, feelings of unhappiness and most likely infidelity, they will generally come out of the closet; either voluntarily or involuntarily (caught).
I've always had an attraction toward guys.Always. However, I didn't come to realize I was gay until I was around 12 or 13. There's a huge difference.
Well, we already abort fetuses with Down's and other genetic 'diseases' (mind the use of quotes) if the actual source of 'gay' is discovered and it's in the womb and there's a test you can take at X weeks; people will still take it and a lot of people would abort.
Which bring to an interesting question, if you're a christian/muslim hardcore religious nut, ABORTION IS MURDER!!!!!! kind of type; would you abort a baby because you know it's gay? Religious nutjobs minds will EXPLODE.
Also, adding to what Kuriin was saying, in retrospect, I always felt 'different' about my 'feelings' towards boys when I was a kid (5-11), I knew I felt different towards them than I did towards girls. It's finally when I understood what sex is and went through puberty that I realized that I'm gay (well, at first I dabbled in the idea of being bisexual because you know GAY IS SIN AND YOU'LL BURN IN HELL, I went to a Opus Dei school so yeah). A lot of people know and still get married, for example, my father. He got married, had us 3 kids, then around 50 said to himself 'this is not the life I wanted' and started having a boyfriend on the side, my mom caught him and they got divorced. It certainly was one of the main reasons I stopped the 'bisexual' bullshit, I saw how my mom was affected by it.
Which bring to an interesting question, if you're a christian/muslim hardcore religious nut, ABORTION IS MURDER!!!!!! kind of type; would you abort a baby because you know it's gay? Religious nutjobs minds will EXPLODE.
Also, adding to what Kuriin was saying, in retrospect, I always felt 'different' about my 'feelings' towards boys when I was a kid (5-11), I knew I felt different towards them than I did towards girls. It's finally when I understood what sex is and went through puberty that I realized that I'm gay (well, at first I dabbled in the idea of being bisexual because you know GAY IS SIN AND YOU'LL BURN IN HELL, I went to a Opus Dei school so yeah). A lot of people know and still get married, for example, my father. He got married, had us 3 kids, then around 50 said to himself 'this is not the life I wanted' and started having a boyfriend on the side, my mom caught him and they got divorced. It certainly was one of the main reasons I stopped the 'bisexual' bullshit, I saw how my mom was affected by it.
OneofOne
Silver Baronet of the Realm
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Hey Hoss, do you recall the first time you liked a girl? I remember the first girl I had a crush on, before I even knew what crushes and shit were (2nd grade, her name was Celeste). Was I not heterosexual before that, since I never "liked" women before that?
Blackyce
Silver Knight of the Realm
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Completely agree with this. Once I finally realized I was gay, when I was 11, I put 2 and 2 together and saw my attraction to guys as early as 6 or 7 years old. I can epsecially remember when I was in 2nd grade teasing a guy in 3rd grade to get him to chase me. Basically getting his attention.
I thought it was really odd that I had my friends, the kids I liked, enemies, kids I didn't like and treated as such and my "special friends". These were kids I liked more than my friends but treated them like my enemies, teasing and name calling. Looking back at it now, I understand that on some level I was attracted to these boys and treated them like this as a way to get their attention.
I finally was able to put a name (gay) to myself when I was home one day from school watching Phil Donahue and on the show it was said that if your son or daughter fantasizes 70% or more of the time about the same sex, they were gay. Thanks Phil.
Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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No, I think you missed something. He claimed that all gays will say "They've always known they were gay". That's something pretty specific. Here are 2 examples of people on this board who did not always know they were gay.
BTW, we all felt 'different' towards girls than we did towards boys. Don't mistake that for a sign of gayness. Girls are icky and no one wants to hang around with them until you realize they're good for sex.
See, maybe like in Blackyce's case you can go back a few more years and recognize signs, but neither of them "always knew". There was a moment of realization. I remember seeing other gays talk about how seeing some hunk in bikini briefs is what made them realize they were gay (this was back before Dr Phil was on TV to tell you sooner). That's what I was getting at, and I think it's you who missed the point. If Gays today are saying "I've always known" they are not being truthful, they're saying it because they think it's the right thing to say. "When did you know" is a different question from "When did you turn gay".
It's not nearly as interesting a question as you might think for a number of reasons.
1. People who are hardcore anti-abortion don't believe in murdering babies because of downs or any other genetic disease.
2. People who are hardcore religious will never believe the theory that you can test for gayness in the womb. They will continue to think being gay is something you decide for yourself. We all have our cross to bear, and with enough will power, faith and praying, you can overcome anything. The Apostle Paul had a 'thorn in his side' that he mentioned a few times. We don't know what it was, but most people agree it was some sort of addiction or depravity that he had trouble refraining from.
3. And finally, the attitudes of the hardcore religious types might not be exactly what you've been led to believe. Christians should have no problem loving their gay son or daughter, and as far as I know, while muslims have official rules against gayness, they have a long standing tradition of butt diddling each other but keeping it secret.
As for the idea that people will still abort the gay babies, this is why I said the current theory isn't as bad as the gay gene. Because if it's correct, they will eventually figure out some sort of supplement or regiment that can stop it, and I think most people will opt for that unless they were inclined to abort anyway.
Tina, I think her last name was hazelbar or hazelwood. I only remember that because we sat around talking about who's last name we'd use when we got married. She was at my day care, I think we were in kindergarten, so that would have made me 5.
Personally, I don't think someone can be gay or hetero until they start having sexual thoughts. Because gay and hetero are primarily expressions of sexuality. Sure there are secondary characteristics, but we have other names for that, like effeminate and butch. You can definitely be effeminate and still be a hetero man, just like you can be butch and be a gay man. So no, I don't think I was hetero at 5 when I was kissing Tina, and I don't think you were hetero in 2nd grade when you were kissing Celeste. I would say I probably turned hetero in the 5th grade when I started noticing Kim's big boobs, or in Jr High when I started fantasizing about some of my teachers (especially senorita pappas, I've always had a weakness for mexican women)
Girls were icky for you because you're straight, they were not for me, they were my 'friends'; whereas to boys like Blackyce was saying were completely different, I wanted their attention, to follow me around, to hug me. When I was 6-7.
iannis
Musty Nester
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I had three girlfriends before I even knew what a girlfriend was, so I think there might be something to Hoss' relatively arbitrary distinction of puberty, even if I kinda wanna disagree with it. Girls pick YOU before puberty. Mothers must introduce them to it much sooner in life on account of the whole if it happens and they don't know what's happening they might go insane. I'm sure that varies person to person, but I wonder if it varies significantly hetero to homo. And I wonder if it's even possible to answer that question.
But I was a late bloomer. I'm still waiting to bloom.
But I was a late bloomer. I'm still waiting to bloom.
Mark-Paul Gosselaar and Mario Lopez hands down. I would feel giggly and tingly while watching Saved by the Bell.
Current? Any of the Chrises: Evans, Pratt, Hemsworth. I'd say Gosling too.
Current? Any of the Chrises: Evans, Pratt, Hemsworth. I'd say Gosling too.
Kuriin
Just a Nurse
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First celebrity crush? Hmm...it was between George Clooney, Mel Gibson, or ...hmm, can't remember the last one. I would jerk off so many times about them starting around fifth grade. ;p
Current crush? Patrick Dempsey, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellan, and Ty Burrell. Being sandwiched between Burrell and Dempsey is instant jizzm for me.
Current crush? Patrick Dempsey, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellan, and Ty Burrell. Being sandwiched between Burrell and Dempsey is instant jizzm for me.
Well, you're totally into daddies aren't you? That's cool, I tried once with a hookup 35 years older ( I was 20, he was 55) not my thing I guess