The Ask Kuriin, A Gay Man, Anything Thread

iannis · Sep 21, 2015

Why tell 101 year old grandpa?

I mean seriously. Not to be a dick but that's just selfish. What possible fucking difference could it make? "I'm not afraid to tell him." Well, good. Don't be afraid to NOT tell him either.

I don't tell my pops which ones do anal and which ones swallow. Just tell 101 year old grandpa that you're happy and you're figguring out your life.

Seananigans · Sep 21, 2015

I'd agree with that. Telling him, knowing that he'd have serious issue with it, is pure selfishness. If he insists on telling him, it smacks of that SJW victimhood mentality. "Everyone MUST know of my struggles!!" blah blah whatever nonsense.

Cad · Sep 21, 2015

I don't see why you have to "come out" to anybody at all. Just date who the fuck you want, if anyone sees you with a man and they didn't know you were gay, now they know. And thats about the time its appropriate for them to know, too. Who else gives a fuck? I don't.

lurkingdirk · Sep 21, 2015

I would think it would not be for grandpa, but for yourself. You want this person that you know and love, and who loves you, to know something fundamental about yourself and be gratified and reassured in your identity when that person continues to love you.

Royal · Sep 21, 2015

Cad_sl said:
I don't see why you have to "come out" to anybody at all. Just date who the fuck you want, if anyone sees you with a man and they didn't know you were gay, now they know.

Coming out prepares them for things like you showing up at Thanksgiving dinner with your man squeeze.

lurkingdirk · Sep 21, 2015

And telling them their fabulous outfit makes their ass look scrumptious.

Hoss · Sep 21, 2015

I heard teh gays have lots of emotions that regular men don't. It's probably got something to do with that.

Kuriin · Sep 22, 2015

Royal_sl said:
Coming out prepares them for things like you showing up at Thanksgiving dinner with your man squeeze.

Erm...yeah, I'm going to have to agree with Royal. Not to mention, coming out to people (family and parents especially) provides for a better self worth.

fanaskin · Sep 22, 2015

lurkingdirk_sl said:
You want this person that you know and love, and who loves you, to know something fundamental about yourself and be gratified and reassured in your identity when that person continues to love you.

what if he doesn't and it's awkward until he dies

iannis · Sep 22, 2015

Kuriin_sl said:
Erm...yeah, I'm going to have to agree with Royal. Not to mention, coming out to people (family and parents especially) provides for a better self worth.

Yeah, but. The dude is 101 years old. If he cares at all he probably already figures that the kid is sort of a fairy.

It sounds like an excuse to say, "Lookit me grandpa. I'm different! ACCEPT ME. LOVE ME FOR WHO I AM". Which is entirely different than lying to the old man and pretending that you're something you aren't. If old gramps even cares one day he might ask, "So. You gay?" And then you just say, "Yep."

I just got a problem with self worth based on attention seeking. There's nothing worthy about that. There's barely even any "self" in that for it to be unworthy of.

Just selfish.

iannis · Sep 22, 2015

I've got a co worker that I see maybe every few shifts. Dudes pretty gay. He's never told me that he's gay, it's never come up in conversation, he's never talked about his boyfriend or had one stop by. But I can tell just by the way he smiles at me sometimes... yeah, Dude's gay. And I respect the shit out of him for the way he conducts himself. He doesn't HAVE to say I'm here I'm queer deal with it. He's just there, and he's queer.

And he's a real nice guy.

Kinda dreamy. Strong eyebrows.

iannis · Sep 22, 2015

Curly hair though. Kind of a beak. Might be some jew blood there.

Szlia · Sep 22, 2015

Q: Did you play Robert Yang's Rinse & Repeat?

Aaron · Sep 23, 2015

The only thing he should be worrying about at this point is:

1. is this old guy rich?
2. if yes, is it likely he'll write the gay dude out of his will before he kicks the bucket?

Kuriin · Sep 23, 2015

Iannis_sl said:
Yeah, but. The dude is 101 years old. If he cares at all he probably already figures that the kid is sort of a fairy.

It sounds like an excuse to say, "Lookit me grandpa. I'm different! ACCEPT ME. LOVE ME FOR WHO I AM". Which is entirely different than lying to the old man and pretending that you're something you aren't. If old gramps even cares one day he might ask, "So. You gay?" And then you just say, "Yep."

I just got a problem with self worth based on attention seeking. There's nothing worthy about that. There's barely even any "self" in that for it to be unworthy of.

Just selfish.

Unfortunately, this is one of those things where "You're not gay, so you wouldn't know." comes into play. It's not attention seeking by any means. It's a feeling of acceptance. I'm definitely not one to tell people to out themselves to parents or grandparents if they suspect or know the family members won't accept them. But, you also don't want to go on living a life of regret (which is a two way street, too, unfortunately). Though, telling someone who is 101 years old is pretty weird. Hahah.

Aaron · Sep 23, 2015

Kuriin, of the current batch of Republican Party Presidential candidates, which one do you think is most likely to be a closet homosexual? I'd ask about the Democrats too, but everyone knows Hillary is really a dyke.

Royal · Sep 23, 2015

Iannis_sl said:
Yeah, but. The dude is 101 years old. If he cares at all he probably already figures that the kid is sort of a fairy.

I dunno. People of that era (we're talking people who entered the peak of adulthood in the 1950's) particularly men can be remarkably oblivious to anything of a remotely sexual nature concerning family members. I mean if the grandson is in his mid 40's and has been what everyone assumed was a confirmed bachelor his whole life then yeah, gramps might have a little more than in inkling. But if he's closer to 25 or so, then he probably doesn't.

Eomer · Sep 23, 2015

Royal_sl said:
I dunno. People of that era (we're talking people who entered the peak of adulthood in the 1950's) particularly men can be remarkably oblivious to anything of a remotely sexual nature concerning family members. I mean if the grandson is in his mid 40's and has been what everyone assumed was a confirmed bachelor his whole life then yeah, gramps might have a little more than in inkling. But if he's closer to 25 or so, then he probably doesn't.

My oldest grampa passed away last year at 101, and I'm pretty sure he would have no idea if one of his grand kids was gay. It just wouldn't have occurred to him. I don't know how he'd have reacted, exactly. He was a Polish immigrant, so quite Catholic. He might have had a big problem with it. He was definitely racist! My grampa on the other side who is in his late 80's is also Catholic, but I think he'd be pretty open minded about it. He's also racist, but more in the amusingly ignorant kind of way. "Boy, that chinaman you sent to help me move dirt around sure worked like a dog! Hey, is that Paki still working for you? He was a real hard worker too."

Kuriin · Sep 23, 2015

aaron_sl said:
Kuriin, of the current batch of Republican Party Presidential candidates, which one do you think is most likely to be a closet homosexual? I'd ask about the Democrats too, but everyone knows Hillary is really a dyke.

Definitely Carly.

Xeldar · Sep 24, 2015

What % chance would you imagine Cruz is closeted?

The Ask Kuriin, A Gay Man, Anything Thread

Musty Nester

Honorary Shit-PhD

scientia potentia est

AssHat Taint

Connoisseur of Exotic Pictures

AssHat Taint

Make America's Team Great Again

Just a Nurse

Well known agitator

Musty Nester

Musty Nester

Musty Nester

Member

Goonsquad Officer

Just a Nurse

Goonsquad Officer

Connoisseur of Exotic Pictures

Trakanon Raider

Just a Nurse

Silver Squire