The Girls Who Broke Your Heart Thread
- Thread starter Wintermute
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Kirun
Buzzfeed Editor
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It's too late, man. Once you land yourself in the "cuddle buddy", or friend zone, it's basically impossible to bring yourself out. This woman is going to use you for validation and as an emotional sponge, nothing more. You only further allow that by continuing to pursue her. Besides, you're a complete imbecile to be messing with a women who is cheating on her boyfriend with you. Do you seriously think that will end well for you?
Talk to her. It'll be a shitty conversation but that's better than who knows how long of you being used and all twisted up over some bullshit.
skribble
Golden Knight of the Realm
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Yeah, I have a lot of experience with the friend zone. I dont listen to any of her emotional shit, but the power has definitely seemed to have shifted from where she persued me to me persuing her, and I don't like it. Really, by making intentions clear that I am not there just to cuddle, avoiding her drama and just not being a lapdog, isn't this enough to not be in it? She always initiates the texts etc.
Haast
Lord Nagafen Raider
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Get drunk with her. Go back to her room, sex her. Kill her. Sex her corpse. Frame her boyfriend, or kill yourself. Your call. Either way, problem solved.
Or you could just be emotionally distant towards her, only hang around her when needed for class and start working other leads.
skribble
Golden Knight of the Realm
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Black outs can actually happen where your brain processes but doesn't store the memories (source: I am doing a Science course).
I am not sure she is being totally honest though. She did seem genuinely surprised when I told her however.
I did try the emotionally distant thing, but it lead to a weird dynamic in the rest of the group which ended with the girls taking her side (yay women). And Im a pretty happy guy IRL, it takes more out of me being distant to someone and having to remember to be distant etc. than to just be normal.
What would you say?
Kirun
Buzzfeed Editor
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She's initiating and you're responding. The problem is, you're fucking responding. This needs to be your conversation with her..
"Look, I know that we live in the same building and have the same group of friends, so we'll have to see each other every day. However, I don't want to exchange texts, "hang out", or cuddle with you any longer. I think we need to be as cordial with each other as possible, so as to not upset our group of friends/disturb the peace, but I'm no longer comfortable with what our "friendship" has developed into."
Done, that's it. At that point, let her be the asshole/bad guy with your group of friends. She has very little moral ground to stand on, seeing as she cheated on her boyfriend with you(you don't have much either, but still slightly more than she does, seeing as you were single). But, you seriously need to cut off all communication with this broad, aside from the above conversation.
skribble
Golden Knight of the Realm
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Yeah, perfect way to word it. Thank you. Truth be told, Im not that close to the other girls and I would miss her legit company as a friend, since outside of attraction we are on the same wavelength with our humour etc. If only I wasn't attracted to her :/
Reading that back it probably sounds like im clutching at straws for reasons not to send the msg youve given me, but it is true. The other girls are much younger and we have literally zero in common. I do enjoy this girls friendship as its own entity but I guess thats impossible to continue with now.
Haast
Lord Nagafen Raider
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Universities are full of interesting people. Get out and meet more of them. Keep things cordial with your class group and this girl, but shift the focus towards class rather than social.
For the future, it's not a good idea to get involved with classmates in project groups for the same reason it's not a good idea to hook-up with co-workers. Better to learn now when the awkwardness ends after a semester (hopefully) rather than it ending with a visit to HR and getting canned.
Kirun
Buzzfeed Editor
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The longer you keep clinging to the notion that she'll "come around", the longer that you're going to be used as an emotional tampon. But, like I said, even if youweren'tin the friend zone, why in the world would you want a relationship with a girl who so obviously doesn't care about cheating on her boyfriend?
skribble
Golden Knight of the Realm
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Yeah I see where you're coming from. I am usually wary of the friendzone, but Im not sure this is what it is. Ive already banged this girl once, made out with her heavily but said id prefer to wait to have sex again since she had a bf, and spent further nights in her bed where she has known full well my intentions. It is difficult to gauge since she always has the out of 'oh i have a boyfriend.'
But I think I will take your advice and just stop replying to her msgs etc, for my own sanity.
ohkcrlho
Silver Baronet of the Realm
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skribble....just read this.i think it's enough
edit: oh you already did.good call btw
Kirun
Buzzfeed Editor
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Sadly, I don't think that you will. The first quote makes it obvious that you're still hung up on this chick. Quit it with the "oneitis". There's plenty of trim out there, especially at college.
Also, just because you may not have been in the friend zoneinitially, doesn't mean you can't end up there.
Izo
Tranny Chaser
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Dont send some mean text to her. You pretended to be the good guy but then when it started looking like she was losing interest, you showed your real intentions and tried to fuck her. Then you got friend zoned. Your fault, not hers.
I have no judgment about any of that, except when you think some mean text is warranted because you blew it, when in fact you acted as poorly as she did.
Pretend nothing happened, pretend to be her friend or just make an effort not to see her, and move on.
I have no judgment about any of that, except when you think some mean text is warranted because you blew it, when in fact you acted as poorly as she did.
Pretend nothing happened, pretend to be her friend or just make an effort not to see her, and move on.
Djay
Trakanon Raider
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I disagree...don't pretend anything. You fucked her...if you wanted more, then too bad. She's with someone else and you don't want to date a known cheater anyway. You want to still hang out with her? Do it. You want to hang out with your other mutual friends and ignore her? Then do that. But don't do it with the idea of getting in her pants again. Don't whine to her about what happened...if she makes an advance on you or brings up the subject, shut her down nicely, but firmly.
But don't pretend nothing happened. Walk around knowing you fucked her. Don't pretend to be her friend. Either be her friend or don't. In any case, move on...and to be honest, you don't sound strong enough to be around her and follow this advice, so just go make some new friends. Introduce yourself to a new group in class next week and get out of that one.
Big Phoenix
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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