What tickles your pickle

One of the vocal "Girl Boss" types at my job isn't emotionally stable enough to work a full day today, cuz election. Now she's a dead silent moping lug. Broad clocked out by 8AM today.

Silence never sounded so sweet.

Kajiimagi said:

Last place I worked, the electrical engineer would take any deserted cell phones and immediately take pics of his balls , then put it back.

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He missed a step. He needs to set that pic as the home screen. Then call them. A virtual t bagging.

I had it done to my my phone. I deleted the pic immediately, but by the next day all the girls in the front office were calling, emailing, and coming to my office saying "I heard you have a picture of soandso's balls, can I see it", So I got him back. He used to date the daughter of one of the women who worked there. That daughter had moved away to go to med school. So I got the mom in on the prank. I faked an email chain that made it look like I had sent the pic to the secretary within seconds of when they pulled the joke. Then that she had sent it to all the girls in the office, and the mom had sent it to her daughter. Then the daughter replied back with "What's that lump? It wasn't there when we dated, tell him he needs to go to the doctor" Sent all that to mom, then went on her computer and forwarded it to him after fixing the headers and shit. It took me a couple hours maybe once I had the idea and buy in from the mother. It was in his email first thing in the monring. Dude spent all day locked in his office inspecting the headers and finally came to the conclusion that it was legit.

The whole day I had to play dumb to anything other than me having sent it to the secretary (who he had also dated, BTW). 'yeah i sent it to her, why not she's seen them before. Oh amy saw them? Weird, i wonder how she got it'. The funniest part is that for months after I still had girls coming to me asking for his nut picture.
'I told you I deleted it'
'Yeah but you sent it to crysta, I saw the reply.'
Even the mother of the girl he used to date came back later and asked again. I'm like, 'you were in on the joke!' wtf? Part of it was my fault because other than the mom who's email I used, I never actually admitted it was a joke to anyone. I know he believed it because one day his current girlfriend called me out of the blue saying she wanted to see it. I was like, wait, he won't let you see his balls? Man that's bullshit, but look you have my number ... if you ever wanna see some balls, I gotchu.

I have worked at this company for longer than EQ has been live. As such, I first started reading FoH/noows while at this job. Over those many years I have shared some of the more colorful terms I learned here with my coworkers, dragging them forcefully into the very edges of the cesspool of depravity we have all immersed ourselves in.

It started with felching I know, but over the years it has included such gems as docking and sounding, and countless others I can't remember. Well, just the other day one of the newer guys was engaging in the ritual game of "who can be the grossest" but didn't know who he was fucking with. He's trying to be as explicit and disturbing as possible about anal sex, which come on, that's amateur hour, but I let him finish and then I ask, "So how long was your poop noodle?"

Needless to say, after I spelled it out for everyone in excruciating detail, new guy slunk away with his tail between his legs. Thanks FoH!