What tickles your pickle
- Thread starter Kreugen
- Start date
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Aamry
Blackwing Lair Raider
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Bandwagon
Kolohe
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The young guys keep implying that I did it because I like my butthole touched, but the old guys are all agreeing with me that a clean butt is worth the discomfort. They think I secretly like butt touches and I'm just afraid of being called a homo, then I come at them with "I'm not homophobic and I'm the most anti butt-stuff guy you've ever met. I'll suck 5,000 stinky bum dicks in front of you right now before I'd let your mom stick a pinky in my ass for half a second. Assholes are disgusting and pressure washing them makes them slightly less disgusting".
Ends the conversation real fast. I told one of the guys that showering with 50 dudes in boot camp gets you over the homophobia stuff real quick, and running 15 miles with a dirty asshole in the Texas heat gets you obsessed about a clean ass real quick.
P.S. - We had a guy in boot camp with a leaky asshole. I have so, so many stories about him. I wonder if he killed himself right after boot.
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I'm going to start randomly installing bidets in various places now. And just pull up a lawn chair and a bucket of popcorn.
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Bandwagon
Kolohe
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You should hear our convos at work. The pranks are getting out of hand, too.
One guy's office is now the designated fart chamber. Every time he's working in the field, everyone goes in there and farts and then closes the door behind them when they leave. I don't participate in that particular prank.
One guy's office is now the designated fart chamber. Every time he's working in the field, everyone goes in there and farts and then closes the door behind them when they leave. I don't participate in that particular prank.
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Nasty in a funny way. They should all sit on his office chair and fart. It'll have greater staying power.
Palum
what Suineg set it to
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More than once I brought him the phones. It was hilarious. Also when anyone started working there they would send this mass email with your photo and a welcome to xxxx with your likes / etc BS. He would take that and do a really racist mean one and send it too. They were cry out loud funny. I told my wife about it and she asked 'did he do you'? LOL no he didn't but he did my PE. He was at the time our only accredited electrical engineer and he was a total HR nightmare.
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Burren
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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He missed a step. He needs to set that pic as the home screen. Then call them. A virtual t bagging.
I had it done to my my phone. I deleted the pic immediately, but by the next day all the girls in the front office were calling, emailing, and coming to my office saying "I heard you have a picture of soandso's balls, can I see it", So I got him back. He used to date the daughter of one of the women who worked there. That daughter had moved away to go to med school. So I got the mom in on the prank. I faked an email chain that made it look like I had sent the pic to the secretary within seconds of when they pulled the joke. Then that she had sent it to all the girls in the office, and the mom had sent it to her daughter. Then the daughter replied back with "What's that lump? It wasn't there when we dated, tell him he needs to go to the doctor" Sent all that to mom, then went on her computer and forwarded it to him after fixing the headers and shit. It took me a couple hours maybe once I had the idea and buy in from the mother. It was in his email first thing in the monring. Dude spent all day locked in his office inspecting the headers and finally came to the conclusion that it was legit.
The whole day I had to play dumb to anything other than me having sent it to the secretary (who he had also dated, BTW). 'yeah i sent it to her, why not she's seen them before. Oh amy saw them? Weird, i wonder how she got it'. The funniest part is that for months after I still had girls coming to me asking for his nut picture.
'I told you I deleted it'
'Yeah but you sent it to crysta, I saw the reply.'
Even the mother of the girl he used to date came back later and asked again. I'm like, 'you were in on the joke!' wtf? Part of it was my fault because other than the mom who's email I used, I never actually admitted it was a joke to anyone. I know he believed it because one day his current girlfriend called me out of the blue saying she wanted to see it. I was like, wait, he won't let you see his balls? Man that's bullshit, but look you have my number ... if you ever wanna see some balls, I gotchu.
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lurker
Vyemm Raider
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