Girls who broke your heart thread

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etoille

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I don"t have any opinion as to whether Tarrant"s changed or not - I haven"t read the posts. He might not have changed at all I"m just evaluating her behavior.

But no girl who wants to just completely be friends calls multiple times a day and agrees to spend the night at your house.

She might be looking to get back with him in the physical sense (friends with benefits) but no chick I know does that kind of behavior with a guy she used to fuck and is only platonically (completely) interested. Period.

If Tarrants lying about any of it well obviously I can"t control that :p
 
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Lenaldo_foh

shitlord
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What course do fat chicks take that teaches them how to take amazingly well angled photos of themselves? Some chick I went to high school(that was super over weight) added me to Facebook yesterday and ALL of her photos(10+ pages) are of some odd, obscure angle. They also make her look pretty decent, until you realize shes about 150lbs overweight.

I just want to know why I never saw this course at either Universities that I attended.
 
Tarrant

Tarrant

<Prior Amod>
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LoL of all the things I could lie about, talking about my ex and the process in which I am attempting to get her back isn"t on that list I assure you.

Nor is the fact that I"ve taken it upon myself to seek help outside of what I can do for myself and have sought out professional guidance.

Nor am I lying about the fact she stayed two sundays ago and will be again this sunday....or anything else for that matter have I lied about. I stand to gain nothing from doing so and in the end would only be lying to myself....which is again, something I"ve no interest in.
 
Brad2770

Brad2770

Avatar of War Slayer
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GrobbeeTrull2.0 said:
Have fun being her walking mat and go-to-guy for all of the ego-boosting she ever needs, though!
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Glad to see I"m not the only one getting Grobbee"s love.
 
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Dabamf_sl

shitlord
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Etoille, sorry, but terrible, terrible advice with the ramen bullshit. Women are great for some things but "how to get the girl" is not one of them. They envision ultra romantic grand gestures that in reality make girls weirded out when it actually happens, because they are thinking of Disney movies and the man in question fighting evil dragons to rescue them.

Women are amazing for interpreting responses. Pointing out that no girl interested in a platonic friend will be contacting you so often, that is good. And for some other things too. One of my female friends asked me if I invited DG to my bday, and I said no because I knew she couldn"t come. That"s male thinking. She told me I should invite her even if I know she can"t come. Took me 1/2 second to know that she was right. She saved my ass.

Anyway, Tarrant I"m with you on this particular case. I think you are on the right track. There is a world of difference between "lets just be friends" and "we need to stay friends for right now" with the very clear unstated desire to escalate when the time is right, while calling you all the time and wanting to stay the night. Obviously, this could be all for nothing and she comes to see you as a pushover and get friended, but handling this situation the proper way, which is what you are clearly doing, generally avoids that outcome. That"s a risk you are aware of though and have clearly accepted as a possible outcome.

This isn"t a standard send-the-package like situation. None of this says "I"m a desperate guy I will do anything for your love." Obviously there"s not much advice to give and you know you"re on the right track, but doubt from even strangers does often unconsciously make us doubt ourselves, so I"m here to lend a supporting word, haha.

Are you able to make a move yourself? The physicality seems all initiated by her, but if you can take charge sexually without alienating her or making her feel rushed I"d suggest you do it on Sunday. I can"t tell if the situation warrants it though.
 
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etoille

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Dabamf said:
Etoille, sorry, but terrible, terrible advice with the ramen bullshit. Women are great for some things but "how to get the girl" is not one of them. They envision ultra romantic grand gestures that in reality make girls weirded out when it actually happens, because they are thinking of Disney movies and the man in question fighting evil dragons to rescue them.

Women are amazing for interpreting responses. Pointing out that no girl interested in a platonic friend will be contacting you so often, that is good. And for some other things too. One of my female friends asked me if I invited DG to my bday, and I said no because I knew she couldn"t come. That"s male thinking. She told me I should invite her even if I know she can"t come. Took me 1/2 second to know that she was right. She saved my ass.

Anyway, Tarrant I"m with you on this particular case. I think you are on the right track. There is a world of difference between "lets just be friends" and "we need to stay friends for right now" with the very clear unstated desire to escalate when the time is right, while calling you all the time and wanting to stay the night. Obviously, this could be all for nothing and she comes to see you as a pushover and get friended, but handling this situation the proper way, which is what you are clearly doing, generally avoids that outcome. That"s a risk you are aware of though and have clearly accepted as a possible outcome.

This isn"t a standard send-the-package like situation. None of this says "I"m a desperate guy I will do anything for your love." Obviously there"s not much advice to give and you know you"re on the right track, but doubt from even strangers does often unconsciously make us doubt ourselves, so I"m here to lend a supporting word, haha.

Are you able to make a move yourself? The physicality seems all initiated by her, but if you can take charge sexually without alienating her or making her feel rushed I"d suggest you do it on Sunday. I can"t tell if the situation warrants it though.
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Ultra grand?

Jesus I think you all are out of touch ffs. What I suggested was pretty goddamned low key. I said ditch the flowers and grand gestures and do something goofy with ramen and a note. Even specifically said the restaurant should be low key.

/boggle

Dragon line made no sense to me either. *shrug* I"ve helped plenty of guys get the girls with subtle moves like that. Playing mindgames and dont call til the third day hard to get shadowgame bullshit has lost more girls on this thread alone.

What"s worked? That, or something you haven"t tried? If you"re single I"d wager you have very little to lose by trying something different. Even if you cant verify my track record.

Edit: ran this by my fiance - who lives to disagree with me - while he found my plan flawed for other reasons (ie not knowing what the girl"s reaction was/rate of return) he said to me "babe theres only one question you have to ask if you"re trying to figure out "is a plan too grand". "does it involve ramen?" if the answer is yes, then no. your plan is not a grand gesture."
 
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Rune_foh

shitlord
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Etoille said:
I don"t have any opinion as to whether Tarrant"s changed or not - I haven"t read the posts. He might not have changed at all I"m just evaluating her behavior.

But no girl who wants to just completely be friends calls multiple times a day and agrees to spend the night at your house.

She might be looking to get back with him in the physical sense (friends with benefits) but no chick I know does that kind of behavior with a guy she used to fuck and is only platonically (completely) interested. Period.

If Tarrants lying about any of it well obviously I can"t control that :p
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How the fuck would you know? "Hey girlfriend last night I totally acted like a retarded attention seeking skank ho, don"t judge me"
 
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Tenks

Bronze Knight of the Realm
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Have you ever picked up a chick Etollie? Dabamf and I generally know whats going on in that regard and your plan is horrible. It will scare the chick horribly, will lower your value with her and will ultimately come off as creepy as hell.

These well thought out romantic ideas only work if you"ve been dating the girl a long time and you need to show that you still care. When you"re trying to build attraction and interest they are about the stupidest thing you can do.
 
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niteflyx_foh

shitlord
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Etoille said:
Ultra grand?

Jesus I think you all are out of touch ffs. What I suggested was pretty goddamned low key. I said ditch the flowers and grand gestures and do something goofy with ramen and a note. Even specifically said the restaurant should be low key.

/boggle
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It"s low key compared to The Package?, but it"s still buying someone a carton of noodles, slipping in a note for them to find to prompt, while a casual restaurant, a very obvious date. Dabamf is right from my experience and others as well. I"ll hear all the time from female friends about how they want some guy to sweep them off their feet with ridiculous Disney-esque plans and gestures, and that"s fine and all for a marriage proposal, but for "getting" a girl, no fucking way.

You may think that would win you over, and maybe it does for a very small population of women, but anyone (some of the guys here, surprisingly enough) who knows how to pick up women to any extent knows that fairy tale tactics just come off fucking creepy and weird.

"Uh, I just got asked out via a note underneath a carton of noodles." != endless blowjobs
 
Ronaan

Ronaan

Molten Core Raider
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Etoille said:
Can I ask some of y"all a few questions?

How old are some of you?
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36. My girlfriend is 33.


Etoille said:
11 commandments
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Scary how well you"ve just described Annie. Steph (the climber girl from early summer) lacked a few of those points... mainly the "knows what she wants" one.

We"ll see.
 
Cutlery

Cutlery

Kill All the White People
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Etoille said:
TBH it sounds like you have had/are having issues due to trust, communication etc. Because you"re superimposing a whole lot of issues and shit on this topic in response to things I never said.
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To be honest, it doesn"t sound like you know what the fuck you"re talking about. My wife is the ONLY fucking person in the world I trust. Everyone else has let me down in some degree or another, but I know my wife will be there when I need her to be, and when I"m not around, I"m 100% certain what she"s doing. Neither of us needs babysitting. When I want to do something, I go out and do it. When she wants to do something, she goes out and does it. Neither of us needs to ask permission, neither of us gets the guilt trip for going out and being with other people, and that"s 100 times more important than anything else. Let the other person be themselves and the relationship works fine. It breaks down when you start trying to impose your will on the other party.

What is obvious after watching so many other relationships around me crumble, is that people quite honestly can"t deal with shit like jealously or they don"t talk or they can"t trust each other or they play games. I"m not superimposing shit, I"m contradicting your viewpoint that everything is peachy keen when you turn 30 and now all of a sudden you can be in a stable relationship. Fucking bullshit, all of it.

My wife has a friend who"s boyfriend started his own business, and didn"t bother informing said friend about it. She found out when there was a cell phone ringing in a briefcase in the closet. Gee, no fucking red flags there, are there? They"re both great people, late 20"s, hold decent jobs, and yet, they"re completely incapable of getting along for more than 4 days at a time because they"re always playing fucking games with each other. When they"re together in public? Oh yeah, smiles and sunshine. As soon as that"s over, the stories start filtering in about the bullshit and nonsense that they put themselves through because neither one of them is willing to say what they actually want, nor can either of them let the other person be themselves.
 
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etoille

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TheCutlery said:
I"m contradicting your viewpoint that everything is peachy keen when you turn 30 and now all of a sudden you can be in a stable relationship. Fucking bullshit, all of it.
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And more shit I didn"t say. Amazing. You"re bitter about something - the negativity is pretty apparent dude. Don"t pretend to know wtf your issue is but the whole "my marriage is awesome because there is trust and everyone else is a jealous retard" shit is a little...myopic.
 
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etoille

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Tenks said:
Have you ever picked up a chick Etollie? Dabamf and I generally know whats going on in that regard and your plan is horrible. It will scare the chick horribly, will lower your value with her and will ultimately come off as creepy as hell.

These well thought out romantic ideas only work if you"ve been dating the girl a long time and you need to show that you still care. When you"re trying to build attraction and interest they are about the stupidest thing you can do.
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And yet the suggestion I gave tarrant was for a girl he was in an LTR with that knows him well. Its ALMOST, ALMOST like I gave a suggestion tailor made to his exact situation and you all thought that was my magical answer for how to approach ANY girl you like. Because OBVIOUSLY thats what I would tell you all to do. Thats clearly what I told my friend to do to get the girl that friendzoned him for 5 years. It"s clearly also what I suggest to my guy friends when they want to call a chick they met the weekend before @ a bar.

No Tenks I haven"t picked up a chick. But believe it or not, as a chick, with chick friends, I have been picked up. I"ve shot guys down. I"ve seen more failed attempts by age 25 than you"ll make in the next ten years of your life.

./facepalm

Ok. Clearly y"all are the experts here. I, as a chick, my friends, who are chicks (3 of whom I pointed to this thread last night b/c I asked if I was losing my mind and all of them said "these guys are retards" after seeing your all"s reactions), clearly have NO CLUE how women like to be approached.
 
Eomer

Eomer

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Etoille said:
Ok. Clearly y"all are the experts here. I, as a chick, my friends, who are chicks (3 of whom I pointed to this thread last night b/c I asked if I was losing my mind and all of them said "these guys are retards" after seeing your all"s reactions), clearly have NO CLUE how women like to be approached.
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Unfortunately, yes, that"s pretty much it. Most women don"t have a fucking clue how their own minds work. This is common knowledge, and incredibly frequently demonstrated by all of the women who say "oh, I just want a nice guy who"ll treat me well and not play games" when that"s pretty much the fastest way to send a girl packing and telling her friends the guy she was dating got all creepy on her.

I"m not a gamer, as evidenced by my posts in this thread, and I don"t think you have to constantly be playing games with women to keep them interested. But, as a guy, if you just ignore all of that shit and only do exactly what chicksthinkthey want (or worse, you mimic stupid shit that happens in movies), you"ll have very little luck with the majority of women. Of course there"s always exceptions.
 
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Tenks

Bronze Knight of the Realm
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Finally you can admit that girls never give out good advice for picking up women. We can finally agree on something. Women have their set of things they "think" they like but then a totally different set of things they actually like.
 
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etoille

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Eomer said:
Unfortunately, yes, that"s pretty much it. Most women don"t have a fucking clue how their own minds work. This is common knowledge, and incredibly frequently demonstrated by all of the women who say "oh, I just want a nice guy who"ll treat me well and not play games" when that"s pretty much the fastest way to send a girl packing and telling her friends the guy she was dating got all creepy on her.

I"m not a gamer, as evidenced by my posts in this thread, and I don"t think you have to constantly be playing games with women to keep them interested. But, as a guy, if you just ignore all of that shit and only do exactly what chicksthinkthey want (or worse, you mimic stupid shit that happens in movies), you"ll have very little luck with the majority of women. Of course there"s always exceptions.
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That"s not women you describe.

That"s PEOPLE. Women say the exact same thing: "All guys ever say is they want a nice girl they can take home to mom." Sound familiar?

Every person has these little anecdotal one liners that they think the opposite sex is playing hide the ball (not the fun kind) with them on.

If people seriously dropped the hangups and bullshit they"d probably find that they wound up with someone likeminded.

I find it very hard to believe that me, and 90% of my friends who are actually with "the nice guy" are all exceptions to the rule that chicks say they want nice guys but don"t. And my friends that are single would line up around the block for my fiance. Every single woman that I work with talks about him as being the standard. Course that might be because I just got flowers for no reason for the 4th time in about 6 months but again that"s me, as a woman, falling for the nice guy.
 
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etoille

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Tenks said:
Finally you can admit that girls never give out good advice for picking up women. We can finally agree on something. Women have their set of things they "think" they like but then a totally different set of things they actually like.
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You mean like men and saying they want a chick with brains then only dating bimbo models? Or that they want someone they can be comfortable with/themselves around ie burp fart and be gross around but don"t like chicks who are "one of the guys?"

Maybe, just maybe I"ve progressed to the point where I see that BOTH sides are full of shit and it isn"t a CHICK thing or a GUY thing but a quality of the PERSON thing (going back to my criteria).
 
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Grooverider_foh

shitlord
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Etoille said:
That"s not women you describe.

That"s PEOPLE. Women say the exact same thing: "All guys ever say is they want a nice girl they can take home to mom." Sound familiar?
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Lady in the street but a freak in the bed.

Every person has these little anecdotal one liners that they think the opposite sex is playing hide the ball (not the fun kind) with them on.
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It"s all true.
If people seriously dropped the hangups and bullshit they"d probably find that they wound up with someone likeminded.

I find it very hard to believe that me, and 90% of my friends who are actually with "the nice guy" are all exceptions to the rule that chicks say they want nice guys but don"t.
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Your friends basically filled their quota of nasty guys and decided to get married to some random.

And my friends that are single would line up around the block for my fiance.
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They probably think he"s a complete douche but "perfect" for you!

Every single woman that I work with talks about him as being the standard. Course that might be because I just got flowers for no reason for the 4th time in about 6 months but again that"s me, as a woman, falling for the nice guy.
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Sad. He cheated on you four times.
 
Tarrant

Tarrant

<Prior Amod>
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The vast majority of women do not know what they want regardless of all the times they say they do. If they did, threads like this wouldn"t exist and dating would be at least 80% easier and more successful for both sides of the fence.

I say 80% because yes, you will get the ass hat that fucks things up on their own but seriously women play so many games without even realizing it it"s downright disturbing.

Now I"m not basing on women, it could very well be true for men as well, but I obviously only notice it with women. Dating is hard because women make it hard, sorry if that offends you but for the most part, it"s the truth.
 
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