Lumi's Batshit Insane Thread

Adebisi

Clump of Cells
<Silver Donator>
27,699
32,795
How are your magnesium levels, Bros? Aunts on Facebook are worried and posting collective evolution links.
 

a_skeleton_02

<Banned>
8,130
14,248
Theory: This 1.3 billion dollar jack pot is unwinnable via randomly generated numbers. You have to pick the numbers correctly.

This is used by the government to catch time travelers to increase our timelines technology.
 

Malakriss

Golden Baronet of the Realm
12,579
11,917
Time travel would actually work a lot easier for the lottery these days than a decade ago. Before you had to worry about the most minute changes in the butterfly effect altering which air blown balls were chosen. Now it's in a not-so-random computer with programming that doesn't change which is run at a predetermined time. You could make world altering changes and the software doesn't give a shit it spits out the same numbers.
 

Malakriss

Golden Baronet of the Realm
12,579
11,917
Sports betting doesn't have lines that are thousands to one, so you'd need a starting bankroll to make that worthwhile. Not to mention how quickly the lines would change which alters everything else so you'd have a couple weeks tops before the entire almanac is worthless.

But at least you could shift Hurricane Katrina to hit Miami or something. Call that a win.
 

a_skeleton_02

<Banned>
8,130
14,248
Time travel would actually work a lot easier for the lottery these days than a decade ago. Before you had to worry about the most minute changes in the butterfly effect altering which air blown balls were chosen. Now it's in a not-so-random computer with programming that doesn't change which is run at a predetermined time. You could make world altering changes and the software doesn't give a shit it spits out the same numbers.
Sports betting doesn't have lines that are thousands to one, so you'd need a starting bankroll to make that worthwhile. Not to mention how quickly the lines would change which alters everything else so you'd have a couple weeks tops before the entire almanac is worthless.

But at least you could shift Hurricane Katrina to hit Miami or something. Call that a win.
Found the Time Traveler.
 

LachiusTZ

Rogue Deathwalker Box
<Silver Donator>
14,472
27,163
Sports betting doesn't have lines that are thousands to one, so you'd need a starting bankroll to make that worthwhile. Not to mention how quickly the lines would change which alters everything else so you'd have a couple weeks tops before the entire almanac is worthless.
I take it you were never a gamble ing man. It's called a parlay.
 

khalid

Unelected Mod
14,071
6,775
I don't know shit about gambling really, but it seems one of the big problems with some ridiculous parlay into millions is that it requires that someone pay you. Isn't sports betting a whole shitload more dodgy than the lottery as far as winnings and reliability of getting paid?

It would really suck to get that one-shot in the time machine, make your huge bet and then have your kneecaps broken by some thug instead of making your money.
 

Ukerric

Bearded Ape
<Silver Donator>
8,215
10,120
It would really suck to get that one-shot in the time machine, make your huge bet and then have your kneecaps broken by some thug instead of making your money.
Side note: that's exactly one of the major plot points of 11.22.63 (the time travel novel from Stephen King, soon on your small screen).
 

LachiusTZ

Rogue Deathwalker Box
<Silver Donator>
14,472
27,163
You would prolly hit two weeks in a row during college football season before the major casinos would cease taking the parlays. They are the only ones with the capital to pay them out. Your local bookie would just stiff you.
 

Void

Experiencer
<Gold Donor>
9,626
11,462
I don't see why the sports almanac would quickly become useless? If the implication is that it would be a result of you winning large sums and potentially altering betting lines, I can see the size of the winnings going down, sure, but I don't know that the actual results themselves would change? Is me going back in time and placing a bet on the Super Bowl winner five years ago, and then doing the same every season thereafter, somehow going to butterfly effect and cause the Patriots to not win last year? I mean, take all the personal implications of the same dude picking the winner every year out of it, but I fail to see how the almanac becomes worthless that quickly. I could see a large number of years potentially beginning to diverge just because of RNG, but unless I have some kind of connection to the sporting world, I just don't get how it becomes worthless due to my actions. Maybe someone can explain?

Assuming you had no other insider knowledge but the almanac, and didn't care about people questioning your luck, you could still make thousands of bets in a few month span. I'm sure you could easily get up into the millions with that many smaller bets, and drop a few larger sums on some of the big name events that people already bet millions on. Sure, I'd rather just have a winning powerball number that had previously not had a winner, but if I only had sports betting, I could make more than enough pretty quickly I'm sure. Avoiding suspicion would be the only really difficult part.
 

Malakriss

Golden Baronet of the Realm
12,579
11,917
Simply being in line for a cashier and displacing everyone behind you by one from the original timeline can have significant changes. God help you if you're the bastard who gets the last fresh hash brown from McDonald's and Janice who is next in line has to wait an extra 3 minutes which means she doesn't get her office football pool picks in time and thus doesn't win. Shut. Down. Everything.
 

Drakain

Trakanon Raider
1,585
688
This time line is already drastically different from the first time I experienced it. And it's not like anyone even knows.... oh fuck!