Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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Lost Virtue

Lost Virtue

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Induction ranges are awesome. We don't live in an area where gas is available. We switched to induction ranges a few years ago and it was amazing. Took time getting use to as it cooks differently than standard electric, but once you learn it's nearly comparable to gas. The temperature control is great and instant (just like gas) and boils water in a minute.

Only downside was we had to buy all new pots/pans for it to work.
 
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Mrs. Gravy

Mrs. Gravy

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Soygen said:
I was looking at some Viking ranges that were more expensive than my entire kitchen remodel. :(
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My good friend is remodeling his house in KC (old home -very cool) and he ended up putting in a Samsung of some variety and loves it - had really good user reviews - they have several models but it was way less than the Viking and it is a beautiful range.

My house is all electric and I hate not having a gas range.
Despite this, G still managed to make some awesome food. IT was a good part for our marriage; also contributed highly to having a good social life because we would entertain guests.

(Seriously trying to get this to be about marriage again...would it help to say that I would do the dishes while naked...but not when we had company.)
 
Big_w_powah

Big_w_powah

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....I'm starting to think heading towards divorce might be my better option. Just had a half hour long conversation with my wife, that was an argument about how if I didnt want to do something I should've said it....I said at noon today when it was sprung on me..I was argued with that it'd be good for me to get out of the house on the weekend...I gave up and caved, said I'd just do it...

I was asked half an hour ago how excited I was for said event...I said I really wasn't...Thus sparked the argument.

I love her to death. I love my son to death.....I'm just, over a lot of shit, I guess. I'm too goddamn tired, and have too much goddamn work on a daily basis, to be the confidence and moral booster for the family anymore, and I feel like I'm losing my family slowly because of it.

For that reason, I kinda feel like I should just throw in the towel and cut it off...I really don't want to and I'm scared I'd regret letting her go...But if its inevitable?

I dunno. When I worked at home I could cook every meal, make sure to help my son with homework every night (he's asleep by time I get home, even as a teenager, most days now)...I'd have time to be Mr. Romance....Make sure to plan little things for her, like taking a long lunch and whisking her away to her favorite sandwich shop 30 minutes away....

I can't do that shit anymore. I was laid off from that sweet gig. Its gone. Now I bust my fucking balls to provide for the family, but its all I have time to do minus the weekends, and even then I often have work on the weekends that I do from home. I know my work situation isn't the most ideal and its long hours but I'm doing what it takes to make sure the roof is over our heads and theres food on the table. I don't feel that is appreciated enough to accept that things may be shit right now but they won't always be.

And the fact that I have to go out of town again Monday is just pissing her off worse.

So, FoH, help me decide my fate.
 
Alex

Alex

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Find a new job? That sounds terrible. And this is the one where they keep stringing you along about the raise right?
 
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Big_w_powah

Big_w_powah

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Noodleface said:
What was the argument? I got confused reading the first part.
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She was upset i didnt object to the plans she made since i am not excited and do not want to do what she had planned.

Except that i did object when it was brought up just caved quickly when my objection was argued.
 
radditsu

radditsu

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Big_w_powah said:
....I'm starting to think heading towards divorce might be my better option. Just had a half hour long conversation with my wife, that was an argument about how if I didnt want to do something I should've said it....I said at noon today when it was sprung on me..I was argued with that it'd be good for me to get out of the house on the weekend...I gave up and caved, said I'd just do it...

I was asked half an hour ago how excited I was for said event...I said I really wasn't...Thus sparked the argument.

I love her to death. I love my son to death.....I'm just, over a lot of shit, I guess. I'm too goddamn tired, and have too much goddamn work on a daily basis, to be the confidence and moral booster for the family anymore, and I feel like I'm losing my family slowly because of it.

For that reason, I kinda feel like I should just throw in the towel and cut it off...I really don't want to and I'm scared I'd regret letting her go...But if its inevitable?

I dunno. When I worked at home I could cook every meal, make sure to help my son with homework every night (he's asleep by time I get home, even as a teenager, most days now)...I'd have time to be Mr. Romance....Make sure to plan little things for her, like taking a long lunch and whisking her away to her favorite sandwich shop 30 minutes away....

I can't do that shit anymore. I was laid off from that sweet gig. Its gone. Now I bust my fucking balls to provide for the family, but its all I have time to do minus the weekends, and even then I often have work on the weekends that I do from home. I know my work situation isn't the most ideal and its long hours but I'm doing what it takes to make sure the roof is over our heads and theres food on the table. I don't feel that is appreciated enough to accept that things may be shit right now but they won't always be.

And the fact that I have to go out of town again Monday is just pissing her off worse.

So, FoH, help me decide my fate.
Click to expand...



Yeah dude reading this combined with your job stuff just tells me you need to tell your work to get fucked even if they give you the raise. You need to calm your stress levels before you can make a divorce decision.
 
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Brikker

Brikker

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Soygen said:
I was looking at some Viking ranges that were more expensive than my entire kitchen remodel. :(
Click to expand...

My parents have a big Wolf gas range on a kitchen island in their house. Thing is awesome.

Big W: look for new work before ending your marriage over a shitty job.
 
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Big_w_powah

Big_w_powah

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Thanks for the perspective guys. I really appreciate this community and all you guys do.

From the bottom of my heart.
 
iannis

iannis

Musty Nester
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Lost Virtue said:
Induction ranges are awesome. We don't live in an area where gas is available. We switched to induction ranges a few years ago and it was amazing. Took time getting use to as it cooks differently than standard electric, but once you learn it's nearly comparable to gas. The temperature control is great and instant (just like gas) and boils water in a minute.

Only downside was we had to buy all new pots/pans for it to work.
Click to expand...

I didn't understand the hype until I used one.

Induction is indeed the wave of the fucking future.

I'm not even kidding. That shit is amazing.
 
moonarchia

moonarchia

The Scientific Shitlord
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Soygen said:
When I do zucchini, I barely cook it, so it's still firm and a little crunchy. I don't like it all mushed up, either. I don't really get eggplant. I'm not sure if I've never had it well-prepared, but I've never had it where I really liked it.
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Eggplant tempura is pretty awesome.
 
Khane

Khane

Got something right about marriage
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Eggplant is one of the hardest veggies to cook correctly. Most restaurants suck at eggplant, and bad eggplant basically tastes like vomit. However, good eggplant is magical.
 
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Izo

Izo

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maxresdefault.jpg

You're part eggplant.
@Havent Killed Since 1984
Thought of you :D
 
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Utnayan

Utnayan

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Big_w_powah said:
....I'm starting to think heading towards divorce might be my better option. Just had a half hour long conversation with my wife, that was an argument about how if I didnt want to do something I should've said it....I said at noon today when it was sprung on me..I was argued with that it'd be good for me to get out of the house on the weekend...I gave up and caved, said I'd just do it...

I was asked half an hour ago how excited I was for said event...I said I really wasn't...Thus sparked the argument.

I love her to death. I love my son to death.....I'm just, over a lot of shit, I guess. I'm too goddamn tired, and have too much goddamn work on a daily basis, to be the confidence and moral booster for the family anymore, and I feel like I'm losing my family slowly because of it.

For that reason, I kinda feel like I should just throw in the towel and cut it off...I really don't want to and I'm scared I'd regret letting her go...But if its inevitable?

I dunno. When I worked at home I could cook every meal, make sure to help my son with homework every night (he's asleep by time I get home, even as a teenager, most days now)...I'd have time to be Mr. Romance....Make sure to plan little things for her, like taking a long lunch and whisking her away to her favorite sandwich shop 30 minutes away....

I can't do that shit anymore. I was laid off from that sweet gig. Its gone. Now I bust my fucking balls to provide for the family, but its all I have time to do minus the weekends, and even then I often have work on the weekends that I do from home. I know my work situation isn't the most ideal and its long hours but I'm doing what it takes to make sure the roof is over our heads and theres food on the table. I don't feel that is appreciated enough to accept that things may be shit right now but they won't always be.

And the fact that I have to go out of town again Monday is just pissing her off worse.

So, FoH, help me decide my fate.
Click to expand...

Does your wife work or are you the sole provider?
 
Namon

Namon

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Big_w_powah said:
....I'm starting to think heading towards divorce might be my better option. Just had a half hour long conversation with my wife, that was an argument about how if I didnt want to do something I should've said it....I said at noon today when it was sprung on me..I was argued with that it'd be good for me to get out of the house on the weekend...I gave up and caved, said I'd just do it...

I was asked half an hour ago how excited I was for said event...I said I really wasn't...Thus sparked the argument.

I love her to death. I love my son to death.....I'm just, over a lot of shit, I guess. I'm too goddamn tired, and have too much goddamn work on a daily basis, to be the confidence and moral booster for the family anymore, and I feel like I'm losing my family slowly because of it.

For that reason, I kinda feel like I should just throw in the towel and cut it off...I really don't want to and I'm scared I'd regret letting her go...But if its inevitable?

I dunno. When I worked at home I could cook every meal, make sure to help my son with homework every night (he's asleep by time I get home, even as a teenager, most days now)...I'd have time to be Mr. Romance....Make sure to plan little things for her, like taking a long lunch and whisking her away to her favorite sandwich shop 30 minutes away....

I can't do that shit anymore. I was laid off from that sweet gig. Its gone. Now I bust my fucking balls to provide for the family, but its all I have time to do minus the weekends, and even then I often have work on the weekends that I do from home. I know my work situation isn't the most ideal and its long hours but I'm doing what it takes to make sure the roof is over our heads and theres food on the table. I don't feel that is appreciated enough to accept that things may be shit right now but they won't always be.

And the fact that I have to go out of town again Monday is just pissing her off worse.

So, FoH, help me decide my fate.
Click to expand...


I totally think this is a situation where the source of your being pissed your work (hours), and unfortunately the one who fully pulls the rip chord on the cork plugging the hole in the dam is your wife. First up, (if you haven't already) I think it's time for a come to Jesus meeting, where it is understood that with the hours you have right now, weekends need to be recharging time, and not be booked solid with events. But to lessen that blow, make every promise that you are working towards rectifying the crazy job that is the source of all this angst anyway. I don't think it is time to totally run out. Your stress levels are through the roof so it's understandable that you are at this point in your head, but I think you need to back away from the ledge and reflect a bit. However, your wife needs to also understand what's going on and what you need to help you get through this.
 
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Oblio

Oblio

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Big W, I believe people can get through any situation as long as they know it is temporary. Start viewing your job that way whilst you start getting resumes out.

I worked way too many hours this summer because my new business took off. My Business Partner has no life and I was trying to match/out work him. My family life suffered and about a month ago I stopped working weekends and made sure I was home by no later than 6pm every night. Things have vastly improved with the family not to mention my stress levels. I even managed to carve out enough time to make some real progress on my kid's Tree House.

Tell your wife your stressed and that your job sucks. Tell her your going to find a new job as soon as possible and that you need her help to manage things. Set the expectation that change is coming, just not overnight. I bet when you share your feelings and include her in your in the process she will respond very well.

Good luck bro!
 
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Big_w_powah

Big_w_powah

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Utnayan said:
Does your wife work or are you the sole provider?
Click to expand...
Im the only one with an income.


Namon said:
I totally think this is a situation where the source of your being pissed your work (hours), and unfortunately the one who fully pulls the rip chord on the cork plugging the hole in the dam is your wife. First up, (if you haven't already) I think it's time for a come to Jesus meeting, where it is understood that with the hours you have right now, weekends need to be recharging time, and not be booked solid with events. But to lessen that blow, make every promise that you are working towards rectifying the crazy job that is the source of all this angst anyway. I don't think it is time to totally run out. Your stress levels are through the roof so it's understandable that you are at this point in your head, but I think you need to back away from the ledge and reflect a bit. However, your wife needs to also understand what's going on and what you need to help you get through this.
Click to expand...

Yeah. Reflecting on the situation over the drive out to the client site this morning kinda brought a lot of your points to light in my head. Id be lying if i said my entire family isnt feeling the weight of this shitty situation. I know its just as hard on her as it is on me really only seeing each other on the weekend.

Even when im in town a good subset of nights my wife is in bed before i get home as well. I eat what was left on the table for me ( and god bless her for that) and then shower and bed. Most nights she barely moves when i kiss her forehead goodnight. Then practically headed out the door when she gets up.

Full disclosure i have a 2 hr commute each way to work and with the long hours its sometimes like i dont even come home during the week for all we see each other.

Even through all of that she keeps telling me this company can take my career places. That i should stick it out for 2 more years or so and when my son graduates high school we can find a place close to whatever job i happen to land in.

Its tough but i think i just had a moment of weakness and easily directed frustration with the divorce post. Im just glad i posted here instead of talking to my wife.
 
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