Tuco
I got Tuco'd!
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Are you arguing that having regular sex is not more important to men in general?
Marriage and the Power of Divorce
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There's two ways for me to answer this:
Yes, I believe women are just as horny and perverted and deviant as men. Our society does a really good job at making them feel bad about that, so it isn't expressed as freely. Now, technically, that's opinion and someone can dismantle that with facts, I'd love to see the numbers and studies.
It doesn't matter. If men really are bigger perverts with shitting dicknipples on their mind 24/7, it doesn't matter. Unless you like sex your wife isn't into, then by all means, use your greater need of sex to coerce her. I'd prefer my wife to want sex too. I know when she's not into it and kills the mood really fast. Quickie once in a while, that she offered without provocation? Fine. But if I want a nice long session of sex, she has to want it too.
BrotherWu
MAGA
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Demonstrably false. You don't believe this literally, do you?
EDIT: It's not clear in your two answers if you do.
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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The problem is women like to hold sex on some pedestal where their man must do some glorious action to obtain it.
If a man did that, the woman would throw things around the house, make you sleep on the couch, set your car on fire, and then cheat on you with your best friend. If I went "I'm sticky from the gym, need shower" and then rolled over and slept, you can damn well sure there would be hell to pay. Men are supposed to take that from women though, because even though in a majority of households we make more money and do more around the house, somehow this valuable member of the household is the one controlling these scheduled once a month sexual encounters.
If a man did that, the woman would throw things around the house, make you sleep on the couch, set your car on fire, and then cheat on you with your best friend. If I went "I'm sticky from the gym, need shower" and then rolled over and slept, you can damn well sure there would be hell to pay. Men are supposed to take that from women though, because even though in a majority of households we make more money and do more around the house, somehow this valuable member of the household is the one controlling these scheduled once a month sexual encounters.
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Only if you provide responses that demonstrate that.
I do believe that. Why should I not?
The point of the second answer is that my first answer, my opinion, doesn't matter to the discussion. If how much one person wants sex is disproportionate to the other person, it does not matter. Unless both persons are ok with giving/receiving dull sex. I think that's a very small minority.
So when someone complains about not having enough sex(spreadsheet guy), statements towards how much guys "need" sex is pointless because I make the assumption the guy wants his wife to fuck him, not allow access to her vagina.
I don't know about all the other married people in this thread but I've passed on sex because I was too tiered. We have an understanding that sex, while important, isn't the #1 important thing in our relationship. So if one of us doesn't feel like it then it doesn't happen. Generally we just do it the next night. I feel women approach and feel about sex in a completely counter and foreign way than me. Where we don't care about any outside issues we can get it up and get going. I don't think most women work that way. If they're distracted by something the importance of sex takes a nose dive. If I am getting the feeling from my wife it simply is not going to happen tonight and I'm having that irresistible urge to bust a nut I just take care of it myself. I don't hold a grudge or anything I just deal with it. But we have a pretty decent bedroom life so maybe that is why it is easy for me to say all this.
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Yeah, I wouldn't want your sweat salts rubbing into the bed sheets either.
Seriously, though, does your wife do this? Why would you put up with this? Also, careful, the money comment is a dangerous one.
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http://www.carlsonmba.umn.edu/Assets/71520.pdf
Several studies have assessed frequency of spontaneous thoughts about sex. Eysenck
(1971) found that men reported more frequent
thoughts about sex than women. Laumann, Gagnon,
Michael, and Michaels (1994) found that men think
about sex more often than women. Over half the men
in their national sample reported thinking about sex every day, whereas only one fifth of the women reported
thinking about sex that often.
Recent studies on uncontrolled and unwanted sexual
thoughts underscore the conclusion that the male sex
drive evokes more sexual thinking even if the person
does not wish to have those thoughts. Byers, Purdon, and
Clark (1998) found that male college students reported
more intrusive, unwanted, and even personally unaccept
-
able thoughts about sex than did college women (7.5 vs.
5.6 out of 20 possible sexually intrusive thoughts listed).
Vanwesenbeeck, Bekker, and van Lenning (1998) devel
-
oped a sexual compulsion scale with items such as "I
think about sex more than I would like" and "I must fight
to keep my sexual thoughts and behavior under control."
Men scored higher than women on this scale, indicating a
greater sense of being sexually driven.
Data on spontaneous sexual arousal and desire reveal
one way in which men seem to have a higher sex drive.
Beck, Bozman, and Qualtrough (1991) found that men
report more frequent sexual desire than women. Nearly
all the men (91%) but only half the women (52%) expe-
rienced sexual desire several times a week or more.
Their study also helped rule out the alternative explana-
tion that women find it more difficult than men to recog-
nize sexual desire, because men and women endorsed
essentially the same indicators of desire.
Likewise, a study by Knoth, Boyd, and Singer
(1988) concluded that the modal young man experi-
ences spontaneous sexual arousal several times per
day, whereas the modal young women experiences it
only a couple times per week. Eysenck (1971) likewise
found that men reported more frequent sexual desire
and more easily stimulated desire than women. Jones
and Barlow (1990) had a sample of young heterosexual
adults monitor their sexual feelings for 7 days, and the
men had more than twice as many sexual urges per day
as the women (4.75 vs. 2.00, respectively). The difference in internally
generated fantasies was not significant, but men had significantly more sexual fantasies
during masturbation than women.
(1971) found that men reported more frequent
thoughts about sex than women. Laumann, Gagnon,
Michael, and Michaels (1994) found that men think
about sex more often than women. Over half the men
in their national sample reported thinking about sex every day, whereas only one fifth of the women reported
thinking about sex that often.
Recent studies on uncontrolled and unwanted sexual
thoughts underscore the conclusion that the male sex
drive evokes more sexual thinking even if the person
does not wish to have those thoughts. Byers, Purdon, and
Clark (1998) found that male college students reported
more intrusive, unwanted, and even personally unaccept
-
able thoughts about sex than did college women (7.5 vs.
5.6 out of 20 possible sexually intrusive thoughts listed).
Vanwesenbeeck, Bekker, and van Lenning (1998) devel
-
oped a sexual compulsion scale with items such as "I
think about sex more than I would like" and "I must fight
to keep my sexual thoughts and behavior under control."
Men scored higher than women on this scale, indicating a
greater sense of being sexually driven.
Data on spontaneous sexual arousal and desire reveal
one way in which men seem to have a higher sex drive.
Beck, Bozman, and Qualtrough (1991) found that men
report more frequent sexual desire than women. Nearly
all the men (91%) but only half the women (52%) expe-
rienced sexual desire several times a week or more.
Their study also helped rule out the alternative explana-
tion that women find it more difficult than men to recog-
nize sexual desire, because men and women endorsed
essentially the same indicators of desire.
Likewise, a study by Knoth, Boyd, and Singer
(1988) concluded that the modal young man experi-
ences spontaneous sexual arousal several times per
day, whereas the modal young women experiences it
only a couple times per week. Eysenck (1971) likewise
found that men reported more frequent sexual desire
and more easily stimulated desire than women. Jones
and Barlow (1990) had a sample of young heterosexual
adults monitor their sexual feelings for 7 days, and the
men had more than twice as many sexual urges per day
as the women (4.75 vs. 2.00, respectively). The difference in internally
generated fantasies was not significant, but men had significantly more sexual fantasies
during masturbation than women.
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Thanks, looks like I was wrong about that. I guess I'm lucky that I've only met women that were just as horny as me(or more).
Fifey
Trakanon Raider
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Khane
Got something right about marriage
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I don't know. I think women who are in happy, fulfilling relationships think about sex just as much as men. They need something to spark that enthusiasm that's more than just physical appearance of passers by. Whereas men are much more visually stimulated. Yoga pants? Great now I'm gonna be thinking about dat ass for the next week and a half.
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Greater sex drive != need. Looks like guys want sex more, but that's a very different word.
I'll admit I probably took beagle too literally, I have that problem. But I'll still maintain my overall point. Regardless that meant need, want, important, whatever, it has no bearing on the discussion.
I'll admit I probably took beagle too literally, I have that problem. But I'll still maintain my overall point. Regardless that meant need, want, important, whatever, it has no bearing on the discussion.
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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My wife has never set my car on fire or cheated on me (to my knowledge). During wedding planning there was some serious sexual tension, but thankfully once we got married that went away.
Soygen
The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
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My anecdotal evidence of my own relationships agrees with Deathwing. My girlfriends have all been just as depraved as me. When I read some of the stories in this thread or the spreadsheet one, I'm just thankful that I have better luck and/or skill at picking a partner.
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This changes through time and the amount of kids you have as well, though. Me and the wife used to fuck like bunnies, at least 3-4 times a week if not more. Sometimes my dick was sore levels of sex on the weekends when we partied. But now? In our early 40s with 2 kids, 12 and 10, her getting back to work, Im lucky to score some once a week.
alavaz
Trakanon Raider
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I'm going to say that's not a likely scenario. The point here is that they at some point had a decent sex life that went to shit. A body odor phobia wouldn't be some sudden development that was more important to her than sex is to a man. Most men don't try to fix what isn't broken so at some point his initiation worked well for him. The only reason he may now be clueless is because his wife decided to load him up with shitball excuses instead of having an honest conversation.
Cad
scientia potentia est
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Deathwing obviously if both people don't want sex, the sex is going to be dull and forced and who wants that?
The question is, why doesn't she want sex? Why doesn't she care enough about her partners feelings to put some effort in? I clean things that obviously don't need to be cleaned because it makes my wife happy. I buy froo-froo shit around the house that I could kick into the street and light on fire for all I care, in order to make my wife happy. So and so forth. I ask very very little of her aside from: 1> Spend time with me and lets enjoy that time, whether its date night, watching a show after the kids are in bed, exercising together, or something. Lets have some quality time. 2> I want her to want to have sex with me, initiate at least some of the time, and be enthusiastic about it. I don't ask much, I don't have a long list of requirements, but these are the things I do want. I know what she wants, and I do my best to make her happy. Whats wrong with her making me happy?
If your wife doesn't give a fuck about what makes you happy and sees you as a chore-doer and ATM machine, then fuck her. Get a new one. And choose better this time.
The question is, why doesn't she want sex? Why doesn't she care enough about her partners feelings to put some effort in? I clean things that obviously don't need to be cleaned because it makes my wife happy. I buy froo-froo shit around the house that I could kick into the street and light on fire for all I care, in order to make my wife happy. So and so forth. I ask very very little of her aside from: 1> Spend time with me and lets enjoy that time, whether its date night, watching a show after the kids are in bed, exercising together, or something. Lets have some quality time. 2> I want her to want to have sex with me, initiate at least some of the time, and be enthusiastic about it. I don't ask much, I don't have a long list of requirements, but these are the things I do want. I know what she wants, and I do my best to make her happy. Whats wrong with her making me happy?
If your wife doesn't give a fuck about what makes you happy and sees you as a chore-doer and ATM machine, then fuck her. Get a new one. And choose better this time.