Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Louis · Dec 21, 2015

Sorry to hear the new Eomer. Feel like I've been living vicariously through you in that relationship.

Ridiculous update to my ridiculous situation.

She comes home, we talk. I ask her about what happened the Monday night. Proceeds to tell me she got drunk with a random group of people at the bar and nothing happens. Now before you guys go "rolf she's lying bro she sucked all their dicks" it doesn't even matter with what transpired next.

The subject turns to setting boundaries and me learning to trust her more. I start to explain how I have a knack for noticing when she isn't acting normal over the phone and it was apparent all week. She breaks down and begins to tell me she's been in love with her boss, who is married. They had also hooked up before he was her boss years ago. I immediately ask if he was the reason she moved back home and she says yes. So many things started to make sense at this point. About 6 weeks ago, I saw she was texting him after hours and just figured it was work related or whatever. My hoe senses went off when she kept getting off the couch every time she'd go to type a message. I ended up shrugging it off just because it never really seemed suspicious past that night. So yea, it was quite the weekend. Will provide a link to pics in s/s tonight when I'm not at work.

Deathwing · Dec 21, 2015

Did she let you move in as partial bill pay and backup dick? Both are cold as hell, but still don't make much sense if she ultimately wants to fuck her boss.

iannis · Dec 21, 2015

well that's fucked up

The Ancient_sl · Dec 21, 2015

Noodlemod_sl said:
I usually don't like to post my dirty laundry, but here is literally my dirty laundry. I noticed my clothes were not turning up in my rack, so I snapped a pic of our laundry situation. Now bros, laundry is fairly easy. I mean you put it in the machine and then you take it out. It takes like 5 minutes to fold it. So yesterday I did all the laundry. How far on the spectrum am I?

Even without extrapolating this mess out to the majority of the house, I'm going to agree with you. At your child's age there is no reason the caretaker can't manage laundry. Although you must be a goddamn machine to fold in 5 minutes. I might disagree with the tact you've described using to approach this issue with your wife both for its inefficacy and its lack of sympathy toward the women you've chosen as a partner.

You've might have stated this already, but was she a very clean person before the child? Was she working and you guys had a maid, or did you both just do a better job keeping the place tidy?

Louis · Dec 21, 2015

Deathwing_sl said:
Did she let you move in as partial bill pay and backup dick? Both are cold as hell, but still don't make much sense if she ultimately wants to fuck her boss.

I started to question everything she did involving me was to make him jealous. Fortunately I never paid a bill while there. I still had my condo I was staying at (thank god I didn't rent it out) which I was still paying for.

Haast · Dec 21, 2015

Daly_sl said:
The subject turns to setting boundaries and me learning to trust her more. I start to explain how I have a knack for noticing when she isn't acting normal over the phone and it was apparent all week. She breaks down and begins to tell me she's been in love with her boss, who is married. They had also hooked up before he was her boss years ago. I immediately ask if he was the reason she moved back home and she says yes. So many things started to make sense at this point. About 6 weeks ago, I saw she was texting him after hours and just figured it was work related or whatever. My hoe senses went off when she kept getting off the couch every time she'd go to type a message. I ended up shrugging it off just because it never really seemed suspicious past that night. So yea, it was quite the weekend. Will provide a link to pics in s/s tonight when I'm not at work.

Wow, that is fucked up.

Khane · Dec 21, 2015

Daly_sl said:
I started to question everything she did involving me was to make him jealous. Fortunately I never paid a bill while there. I still had my condo I was staying at (thank god I didn't rent it out) which I was still paying for.

I doubt it was to make him jealous. He probably told her to get lost and she used you for some quick comfort to ease the blow (heh) of rejection.

Noodleface · Dec 21, 2015

The Ancient_sl said:
Even without extrapolating this mess out to the majority of the house, I'm going to agree with you. At your child's age there is no reason the caretaker can't manage laundry. Although you must be a goddamn machine to fold in 5 minutes. I might disagree with the tact you've described using to approach this issue with your wife both for its inefficacy and its lack of sympathy toward the women you've chosen as a partner.

You've might have stated this already, but was she a very clean person before the child? Was she working and you guys had a maid, or did you both just do a better job keeping the place tidy?

She's always had this weird hoarding tendency, and maybe I cleaned more than her, but before having a kid it wasn't a problem. We both worked all day, so the messes were pretty minimal. I also worked easier hours so I wasn't as stressed about it.

iannis · Dec 21, 2015

You might find that some arrangement works out best for you. Like keep the laundry done and keep one to three rooms tidy, leave the rest to sort themselves out. Or you just clean them yourself if it gets aggravating. If she doesn't keep a neat house, she just doesn't keep a neat house.

I mean you know, happy wife happy life. The mess that you don't see probably isn't growing black mold and a danger of choking you to death in your sleep.

Some of us really do hate to clean. Like detest it. Sucks for her bein born a girl and all.

Noodleface · Dec 21, 2015

Iannis_sl said:
You might find that some arrangement works out best for you. Like keep the laundry done and keep one to three rooms tidy, leave the rest to sort themselves out. Or you just clean them yourself if it gets aggravating. If she doesn't keep a neat house, she just doesn't keep a neat house.

I mean you know, happy wife happy life. The mess that you don't see probably isn't growing black mold and a danger of choking you to death in your sleep.

Some of us really do hate to clean. Like detest it. Sucks for her bein born a girl and all.

This is probably one of those things where when I went to her parent's house I should've seen the signs. Her mother has clutter everywhere - I mean, not like Hoarding: Buried Alive level clutter, but pretty substantial. And their office looks like mine now. So it is partially my own fault. I am a very minimalistic person, so it bothers me probably more than it should.

I don't mind cleaning, but keeping a house up during my hours is rough. I'm probably making a bigger deal of it than I should. I don't know.

It's not a divorceable thing, but it has been getting my blood pumping.

moonarchia · Dec 21, 2015

What Iannis said. Declare your clean space, and keep it clean. Use the paid bills in the fireplace if she keeps trying to hoard.

Fifey · Dec 21, 2015

As a bachelor, I have never let my pile of laundry get that bad and I never had a clean house. Get your wife some meth, that will keep her cleaning.

Haast · Dec 21, 2015

Noodlemod_sl said:
It's not a divorceable thing, but it has been getting my blood pumping.

The current situation isn't divorceable, but if this is the start down her road to becoming her mother, it is divorceable as fuck. I remember you describing her and she is a goddamn nightmare. Which is why I suggest not letting everything slide like her father presumably did and from your description, still does. You've seen his life and it is insanely depressing.

Also, don't let her off with the "I'm so bad" routine. Tell her she isn't bad or failing, but you really need her help with the house to maintain your sanity. Or something similar. Then help her break it down into more manageable tasks than "the house should be clean". Perhaps this week, she could work through that mega-pile of laundry. Even if you could get her to run it through the machine and then you fold it together, it would be a start. Then move on from there.

Noodleface · Dec 21, 2015

Funny you mention the mother being bad.

They've been struggling to make mortgage payments. He's an HVAC guy and used to work 20+ hours overtime every week, basically as much work as he was willing to take on. Company got bought out and they demanded maximum 40 hours a week with no overtime at all, so his pay was cut dramatically. Of course, we all know you should never include overtime in your budget, but that's how it was over there. She works part time at a minimum wage job to help out with groceries and stuff.

She is one of those people that always has some new toy when you go over, usually purchased off QVC. She got this huge back massage chair, it had to be over a grand. It broke and instead of ordering a part, she just decided to order a new chair.Credit card bill comes in and the dude sees it and flips out. I mean, they're struggling to pay a mortgage and she's just spending his money like it's nothing. They also sleep in separate bedrooms, don't eat the same meals or together, live in separate rooms during the night to watch TV. It's crazy.

I don't really know why they're together other than it not being worth it financially to go the divorce route. I actually think they hate eachother. They've never said it, but I'm fairly certain of it.

Man I could go on and on about the crazy stuff they both do, but it could fill a book.

If that's what I have to look forward to put a bullet in my brain today.

Cad · Dec 21, 2015

Noodlemod_sl said:
Funny you mention the mother being bad.

They've been struggling to make mortgage payments. He's an HVAC guy and used to work 20+ hours overtime every week, basically as much work as he was willing to take on. Company got bought out and they demanded maximum 40 hours a week with no overtime at all, so his pay was cut dramatically. Of course, we all know you should never include overtime in your budget, but that's how it was over there. She works part time at a minimum wage job to help out with groceries and stuff.

She is one of those people that always has some new toy when you go over, usually purchased off QVC. She got this huge back massage chair, it had to be over a grand. It broke and instead of ordering a part, she just decided to order a new chair.Credit card bill comes in and the dude sees it and flips out. I mean, they're struggling to pay a mortgage and she's just spending his money like it's nothing. They also sleep in separate bedrooms, don't eat the same meals or together, live in separate rooms during the night to watch TV. It's crazy.

I don't really know why they're together other than it not being worth it financially to go the divorce route. I actually think they hate eachother. They've never said it, but I'm fairly certain of it.

Man I could go on and on about the crazy stuff they both do, but it could fill a book.

If that's what I have to look forward to put a bullet in my brain today.

I think they get there because they don't try to resolve issues and instead end up in that kind of mexican standoff. You need to talk to your wife, you need to make effort (and so does she) to resolve those issues. When one person just blows you off (like your wife is) or responds passive aggressively and talks shit in front of the kid (like your wife is, admittedly your kid doesn't know anything) thats how issues don't get resolved, and resentment occurs. Once enough resentment builds up you end up in separate rooms watching TV at night and completely ignoring each others needs or intentionally aggravating each other.

Mures · Dec 21, 2015

Do you work weekends noodlebro? I'm sure shit piled up with a newborn. Now that things are a little more routine maybe she is just overwhelmed by the mess and doesn't know where to begin. Maybe yall could take a weekend to get shit in order and then she can just maintain it? Its way easier to take 5-15m to clean up after yourself than it is to take the hours of work it appears you need.

Picasso3 · Dec 21, 2015

Sounds like the husband was being the better person and sucking it up taking on overtime all those years and still got no respect. I would be very vigilant to ensure she wasn't easing into being a full on sack of shit. The qvc story is exactly why i mentioned access to cash.

Noodleface · Dec 21, 2015

Picasso_sl said:
Sounds like the husband was being the better person and sucking it up taking on overtime all those years and still got no respect. I would be very vigilant to ensure she wasn't easing into being a full on sack of shit. The qvc story is exactly why i mentioned access to cash.

That's exactly the case. No one respects the guy, not even his own kids.

Often times I'll hang with him while he watches TV because I think he's cool.

DickTrickle · Dec 21, 2015

Iannis_sl said:
I mean you know, happy wife happy life.

I loathe this saying. Why should the wife be the one with the most emphasis on being happy? Is an unhappy husband irrelevant? I realize it's just a trite saying but it's that kind of mentality that ends up leading to unbalanced relationships, imo. The wife should care as much about the husband's happiness as he does about her's.

Deathwing · Dec 21, 2015

Because you want pussy much more than she wants dick. I'm not saying that's necessarily true nor do I disagree with you, just probably what led to that phrase. Happy wives fuck more often.

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Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Louis

Trakanon Raider

Deathwing

iannis

Musty Nester

The Ancient_sl

shitlord

Louis

Trakanon Raider

Haast

Lord Nagafen Raider

Khane

Got something right about marriage

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick

iannis

Musty Nester

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick

moonarchia

The Scientific Shitlord

Fifey

Trakanon Raider

Haast

Lord Nagafen Raider

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick

Cad

scientia potentia est

Mures

Blackwing Lair Raider

Picasso3

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Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick

DickTrickle

Definitely NOT Furor Planedefiler

Deathwing