Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Khane

Khane

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Even RNs make a lot of money in the Northeast US. 75k+ in most instances. Which is still upper middle class.
 
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Tenks

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Khane_sl said:
That's the dilemma, that isn't lost on me. I realize that is true. But I still WANT to be with someone who is my equal, and I do meet women who are. Unfortunately for me they almost always expect to meet a man who is their vast superior, and I don't make the cut.
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Why are you defining their status based upon their W-2, though? I'd say as long as they're a hard worker and have aspirations and drive that is pretty damn good. Not everyone makes boatloads of money in their profession.
 
Khane

Khane

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Tenks_sl said:
Why are you defining their status based upon their W-2, though? I'd say as long as they're a hard worker and have aspirations and drive that is pretty damn good. Not everyone makes boatloads of money in their profession.
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Typically aspirations and drive means better earning power. Losers with bad jobs don't have aspirations and drive Tenks. I am very judgmental because of my past relationships. Maybe it's a character flaw but I can't help it.
 
Frenzied Wombat

Frenzied Wombat

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Tenks_sl said:
I know what you're getting at but until you can bring me actual evidence that somehow Asian women are less high maintaninence than American women you don't really have an argument outside of your limited anecdotal evidence.
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Dude, have you travelled to and spent any time in Asia? You might as well be asking for evidence that Asians eat more rice than American woman do. Their culture is different, period.
 
DickTrickle

DickTrickle

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Khane_sl said:
Typically aspirations and drive means better earning power. Losers with bad jobs don't have aspirations and drive Tenks. I am very judgmental because of my past relationships. Maybe it's a character flaw but I can't help it.
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You can be a government research scientist and not make anywhere close to what you're making. If they're publishing and actually advancing a scientific field, is that a bad job and are they a loser even though the pay might be half yours?
 
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Tenks

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I mean my wife makes ~50k/yr. When I first met her she was making ~30k/yr. I could have easily written her off as someone working a trivial job and not using her degree (it is a worthless degree) but when I got to know her I found out she was actually working a second job and didn't feel challenged at her primary job. I told her if she puts in some effort and gets her foot in the door at a better company she can quit her second job (it was only maybe 8 hr/wk on Fri-Sun) and get put on a better plan for her career. She did. She took a horizontal job at a different company and within a few years moved her salary up about 20k/yr. She is now targeting moving up further into some analyst roles. Not sure on what the salary compensation will be but at least she is challenging herself to do more. She doesn't make as much as me and probably never will but not everyone is in IT where we make a ton of money nor had the foresight in college to get a degree which translated to real world money. But to judge someone for things like that even though they have aspirations and drive is not only arrogant it is foolish.
 
Khane

Khane

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DickTrickle_sl said:
You can be a government research scientist and not make anywhere close to what you're making. If they're publishing and actually advancing a scientific field, is that a bad job even though the pay might be half yours?
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I completely understand what you're saying. And I don't put a monetary equivalent on principles, but in my experience, even the women around here who seem promisising aren't. And unfortunately for me the ones who are, aren't interested. Seriously. It's a conundrum. I am not good enough for the women I want, and the women who want me aren't good enough for me. It's frustrating.
 
Cad

Cad

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Khane_sl said:
I do exactly as you say. But I think anyone who still dates at my age will find a correlation between earning power and intellect. The women who are intellectually stimulating to me are always in the same ballpark, the women who aren't intellectually stimulating are teachers and social workers who honestly feel like they are doing god's work, and therefore are on my level, but can't hold an intelligent conversation outside of pop culture.

Your friend must be insanely good looking to have landed what he did. Though I wouldn't want to be Mr. Mom either. I value contributing to society far too much to ever give up my career.
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Eh my wife is in finance and does all sorts of brainy shit economic models, cost projections, financing deal proposals, you name it. That field just doesn't pay like law does especially if you are good at it. So I make 3-5x what she does depending on whats going on with our cases. But I wouldn't say I'm intellectually superior to her, what I do just pays more.

Caveat: if I was willing to move to NYC she could get a much better job. The PE market here in Dallas (where you make money in finance) is shitty and way over competitive for the few spots there are. I joke with her that I've gotten to work in the Crescent and she hasn't, and she's actually in finance!

P.S. the Crescent is by reputation the nicest office building in Dallas and there's loads of financial firms with offices there.
 
Cad

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Haast_sl said:
I'll second the Persian crazy. Holy fucking shit. Though Cad: many are not rich; they are Dallas 30K millionaire rich.
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Fair enough, I don't audit their finances. They certainly spend a lot, permit me to rephrase.
 
Khane

Khane

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Tenks_sl said:
I mean my wife makes ~50k/yr. When I first met her she was making ~30k/yr. I could have easily written her off as someone working a trivial job and not using her degree (it is a worthless degree) but when I got to know her I found out she was actually working a second job and didn't feel challenged at her primary job. I told her if she puts in some effort and gets her foot in the door at a better company she can quit her second job (it was only maybe 8 hr/wk on Fri-Sun) and get put on a better plan for her career. She did. She took a horizontal job at a different company and within a few years moved her salary up about 20k/yr. She is now targeting moving up further into some analyst roles. Not sure on what the salary compensation will be but at least she is challenging herself to do more. She doesn't make as much as me and probably never will but not everyone is in IT where we make a ton of money nor had the foresight in college to get a degree which translated to real world money. But to judge someone for things like that even though they have aspirations and drive is not only arrogant it is foolish.
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You were way younger than I am when you met your wife. Here is the problem, I date women who are usually 28+, and more often 30+. I do not get along with younger women because I have nothing to talk to them about. The issue with what you're saying is, I am so over having to feel like a father figure. I do not want to be a mentor to my fucking girlfriend. She's old enough at this point she should be able to take care of herself.
 
Khane

Khane

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Cad_sl said:
Eh my wife is in finance and does all sorts of brainy shit economic models, cost projections, financing deal proposals, you name it. That field just doesn't pay like law does especially if you are good at it. So I make 3-5x what she does depending on whats going on with our cases. But I wouldn't say I'm intellectually superior to her, what I do just pays more.
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Yea but that's kind of the point I was making. You make more than I do I am very sure. Your wife, who works in finance, is probably close to my income level. I referred to teachers and social workers, not finance/economics professionals. Attorneys have a lot of prestige attached to their job titles that software architects (like myself) do not. Your wife would probably not go for a guy at my income level/social status, whereas she readily would go for you. I do not begrudge that. That is perfectly acceptable to me. But I think you understand where I'm coming from.
 
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Tenks

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Age somewhat backseats once you are out of college and have a career -- at least IMO. Sure the gap between 26 (when I met my wife) and 32 sounds pretty drastic but for the most part I was just going to work, going home and collecting my paycheck. Basically the same stuff I do now that I'm 30. Also my wife is a bit older than me. About 3.5 years older. It bugged me at first when we started dating but I got over it pretty rapidly. Mainly because I was seeing about 3 other girls at the time all around college age and that just got frustrating and I couldn't deal with women of that age anymore.
 
Cad

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Khane_sl said:
Yea but that's kind of the point I was making. You make more than I do I am very sure. Your wife, who works in finance, is probably close to my income level. I referred to teachers and social workers, not finance/economics professionals. Attorneys have a lot of prestige attached to their job titles that software architects (like myself) do not. Your wife would probably not go for a guy at my income level/social status, whereas she readily would go for you. I do not begrudge that. That is perfectly acceptable to me. But I think you understand where I'm coming from.
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I was a software engineer when she married me bro.
 
Kirun

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Honestly, if I were a single dude in the top 1-5% of income earners, there's no way I wouldn't just use escorts. You save yourselfsomuch aggravation, frustrations, and ultimately...sanity. Navigating the swamp that is the current, American dating market is just something I wouldn't even want to mess with, especially since my career would typically have me too busy to deal with all that hassle.
 
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