Rings of Power: Tolkien's Shambling Skinsuit

  • Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!



    Go here and give us your nominations!
    Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!

Sevens

Log Wizard
6,016
19,168
Well I guess Tom spells it out that the "dark wizard" is indeed another Istari

So looking more like not-gandalf and not-saruman are the blues
The blues were best friends and traveled together

 

amigo

Molten Core Raider
436
543
Yeah, hard agree. Only Tolkien "experts", who know very little (basically what they remember from the movies), will eat up Amazon's shite. Fucking casuals ;P.
All the bastardization and idiocy aside, it's actually *hard* for me to even watch Drinker and Nerdrotic reviews where they show the actual footage. It's super cringe inducing and unwatchable, especially anything involving midget warrior Guyadriel.
 

Bald Brah

Trakanon Raider
1,308
1,669
Yeah, hard agree. Only Tolkien "experts", who know very little (basically what they remember from the movies), will eat up Amazon's shite. Fucking casuals ;P.
All the bastardization and idiocy aside, it's actually *hard* for me to even watch Drinker and Nerdrotic reviews where they show the actual footage. It's super cringe inducing and unwatchable, especially anything involving midget warrior Guyadriel.

Any scene with her attempting any action hero moves is 100% distilled garbage. She looks like the last person picked for dodge ball for her entire life.

If they wanted a tough girl boss bitch they should have at least cast someone who looks like Xena or Wonder Woman. Not some 5' 80lb pathetically weak looking kunt.
 

Chris

Potato del Grande
19,575
-10,654
Well I guess Tom spells it out that the "dark wizard" is indeed another Istari

So looking more like not-gandalf and not-saruman are the blues
I'm going to guess that Istar are Maiar who live in space and observe Middle Earth from above.

If they decide to enter Middle Earth, they crash down with no memory in mortal form. All the Maiar did this but 1000s of years before just after creation, Bombadil was the first one.

So this is actually Gandalf and Saruman. By the end they will somewhat get their memories/mission back, optional three other wizards, fight Sauron, Gandalf will turn Saruman good and they will journey to Valinor at the end of the 2nd age.

They return later for the canon stuff they did in the 3rd age.

I've made this up but it's the only way to make everything make sense.
 

Maul

Dental Dammer
3,586
10,882
Our armies cannot defeat the might of Adar and Sauron alone!

*army consists of 15 orcs, some scared up elf and a faggy elf Sauron

Fuck this show
 
  • 1Worf
  • 1Solidarity
Reactions: 1 users

Animosity

Silver Baronet of the Realm
7,138
6,044
If the hobbit storylines didn’t exist, this show would be 10x better.
 
  • 1Like
Reactions: 1 user

Quaid

Trump's Staff
11,796
8,163
If the hobbit storylines didn’t exist, this show would be 10x better.

The story, characters, and tone are irredeemably bad. I don’t think removing a minor sub plot would help this show much. It’s fundamentally flawed.

Great acting and effects, but who cares?
 

Chris

Potato del Grande
19,575
-10,654
Our armies cannot defeat the might of Adar and Sauron alone!

*army consists of 15 orcs, some scared up elf and a faggy elf Sauron

Fuck this show
But Elrond says that line in Fellowship of the Ring about Saruman and Sauron, it's like poetry, it rhymes.

Also Saurman was the really famous leader of the white council, nobody knows who the fuck Adar is, not even Tolkien lol.
 
Last edited:
  • 1Rustled
Reactions: 1 user

Bald Brah

Trakanon Raider
1,308
1,669
HOW IS THIS SO BAD????

I just watched Ep.1 of Game of Thrones last night. It's amazing the contrast in quality of these two shows from the beginning. Game of Thrones was freaking amazing out of the gate. Atmosphere, suspense, acting, writing. The opening scene with the Rangers and the Whitewalkers is insanely good. Compare to any LoTR laughable battle scenes.

It's pretty wild watching it again knowing how everything unfolds. When they get the dire wolf pups it takes on some added weight when John says "I'm not a Stark" before he finds the 6th wolf.

Then the next sequence where Robert shows up and goes right to Lyanna's grave talking about killing Rhaegar and marrying Lyanna. Watching as a clueless noob none of that means anything.
 
Last edited:
  • 2Like
Reactions: 1 users

Dr.Retarded

<Silver Donator>
12,866
28,854
I just watched Ep.1 of Game of Thrones last night. It's amazing the contrast in quality of these two shows from the beginning. Game of Thrones was freaking amazing out of the gate. Atmosphere, suspense, acting, writing. The opening scene with the Rangers and the Whitewalkers is insanely good. Compare to any LoTR laughable battle scenes.

It's pretty wild watching it again knowing how everything unfolds. When they get the dire wolf pups it takes on some added weight when John says "I'm not a Stark" before he finds the 6th wolf.

Then the next sequence where Robert shows up and goes right to Lyanna's grave talking about killing Rhaegar and marrying Lyanna. Watching as a clueless noob none of that means anything.
I've been watching a few episodes here and there, and there's good stuff in there, but I know it falls off a cliff when they were working from the notes. It's been a long time since I seen those last few seasons, and I'll get to them eventually. The first two or three seasons maybe four we're all pretty decent. I just don't remember which season it was when it went off the rails.

I've never watched a single episode of the rings of power shit, and I never will.
 
  • 1Like
Reactions: 1 user

zignor 4

Molten Core Raider
592
754
GoT doesn't fall off a cliff until S8. A slow slide begins once the show moves past Storm of Swords, which progressively accelerates after they go beyond the books entirely, and of course it suffers further when graded against the amazing earlier episodes. But even when taking all of the negatives into account, it's still watchable, above-average television. Then season 8 hits and they just set the whole thing on fire.
 
  • 4Like
Reactions: 3 users

Dr.Retarded

<Silver Donator>
12,866
28,854
GoT doesn't fall off a cliff until S8. A slow slide begins once the show moves past Storm of Swords, which progressively accelerates after they go beyond the books entirely, and of course it suffers further when graded against the amazing earlier episodes. But even when taking all of the negatives into account, it's still watchable, above-average television. Then season 8 hits and they just set the whole thing on fire.
I couldn't remember, like I said I haven't watched it in a long time since it originally aired, and I've never rewatched it.

I just don't remember where it started going wobbly. I know there were some pretty goofy episodes where the stuff with the people in Dorn and the horrible sand snakes or whatever choreography.

It's not a bad show but it's definitely not one of my all-time favorites.
 

Cad

scientia potentia est
<Bronze Donator>
25,728
50,316
I couldn't remember, like I said I haven't watched it in a long time since it originally aired, and I've never rewatched it.

I just don't remember where it started going wobbly. I know there were some pretty goofy episodes where the stuff with the people in Dorn and the horrible sand snakes or whatever choreography.

It's not a bad show but it's definitely not one of my all-time favorites.
My opinion on GoT is seasons 1-4 were amazing, 5-7 were still good but definitely trending downwards, S8 was the train wreck.
 
  • 4Like
Reactions: 3 users