Sex, Masturbation, and burnt holes in yo dick Thread

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Cad

Cad

scientia potentia est
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I think the wives who strenuously object to porn do so because they want sexual control of the relationship. They don't really give a shit where your dick goes, they just want to control you. And they do that by controlling your access to sex and therefore keeping you under their thumb.
 
Aaron

Aaron

Goonsquad Officer
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As a Scandinavian this entire thread is comedy gold. I've been reading it all whilest sitting at the back of a conference and had a really bad time not laughing out loud!
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I first saw porn when flipping through my dad's Playboys when I was 8. Didn't know what it was for though but I liked the pics. 80's bush is best bush!

We had sexed at school. Pretty comprehensive and not at all cringy... Apart from the part in the sexed book where it recommended boys try tasting their own cum...
 
Onoes

Onoes

Trakanon Raider
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I know this is a page or two back, but lube? I might jerk off with lube once or twice a year just for a treat or something if I'm going directly to the shower after, but that shit is messy. Am I the only one who has seperate sections in my drawer for "Nice socks to wear on my feet" and "Cheap socks to jerk off with"? Because guys, that is by far the easiest solution.

Need to jerk off, grab a sock, pull over your dick. With my left hand I tend to hold the excess sock straight out, so it's not rubbing my cock head. Grab dick around base, pull outward as far as skin goes, then pull back to body. Repeat. When you're ready to cum, you just cum. Give dick an extra squeeze, take sock off, fold over once, toss in hamper. Wash clothes. Repeat.

No mess, no cleanup, super easy and convenient.

Also, file me in the boat of girlfriend who likes porn. It came up because like noodles wife, she was doing the most amazing porn star blowjob. Like, sucking balls while jerking me off and looking up at me. I was like "Ok, so you must totally be into porn, because that was amazing." and she was like "Um no, I don't even know where to find porn... I watched one once in high school, but that's it. Now I'm curious, do you have a porn, can I see what you watch?"

Queue to a year later where she's like "We should get a projector so the whole wall can just be porn when we fuck! God damn, when is your stupid Oculus going to get here, I'm so excited to try that out!" lol
 
Noodleface

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
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Yeah my wife sucked my balls and gave my shaft tiny kisses and all I could think was "did she learn that from cum guzzlers 36 scene 3?"
 
Onoes

Onoes

Trakanon Raider
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It's funny how your brain goes immediately to "There is no way this is instinct. This is hundreds of hours of studied research and practice. She's doing things on a psychological level here, this is not natural."

obviously followed by "OHHHHNNNNNFFFFFFGGGGGGG"
 
Shonuff

Shonuff

Mr. Poopybutthole
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I'll take this a step further, I know a guy who showed me non photoshopped pics of him self-fellating.
 
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