The Acolyte

Star bores the lesbians strike back

spronk said:

shows over, right? i assume it was a dumpster fire finale, no i don't give a fuck about watching a critical drinker video telling me for an hour what a dumpster fire it was


next up, more Star Wars goyslop skeleton crew should be out probably Nov 2024. Its the last of the 2022 Star Wars shows announced, after that all we have left is Andor season 2 next year (final season), the Mandalorian movie, dunno if there is gonna be a Mando s4 (hope not), and Ahsoka season 2. I don't think they've announced anything else with concrete dates? I guess the Star Wars Jedi origins movie?

The only real question is whether Skeleton crew will be slightly worse or a lot worse than Acolyte, since its basically Jude Law babysitting a bunch of kids

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they slowed down production on Star Wars TV/movies. it doesnt mean they are going to put out more quality content instead of just churning out more content. it just means you will get shit content, but much slower now. skeleton crew will bomb worse than this. Star Wars has been trending downward for years. they lost 75% of their Mando s1 viewers. i mean to normies who dont have d+ and just watch the movies and perhaps heard about Mando. there is nothing to get excited about and so the IP is as dead as when Lucas owned it. last 3 SW films was Rise of Palps, Solo and TLJ.

I expected nothing from the finale and was still disapppointed. They showed the bleeding of a kyber crystal which is a cool concept from the expanded universe but then the blade slowly becoming red from blue was a dumb visual, would have been better if it was just red from the get-go. Yoda cameo was dumb, Yoda would have felt all the lies and bullshit the green chick was feeling and saying and would have sacked her ass. I see some people are saying the lurker on the ocean planet in the dark cave was Darth Plagueis, which would have been awesome to see except it makes no sense to have him there as a hermit in a hut, he was a megawealthy elitist who also had a side hobby as a Sith Lord but he wasn't crawling around caves on backwater planets. Only somewhat not terrible part was some of the lightsaber duel between Saul and Qimir but then they had all this stupid ass shit with the sisters switcheroo.

I really hope this doesn't get renewed, which it looks like it won't.

Runnen said:

I expected nothing from the finale and was still disapppointed. They showed the bleeding of a kyber crystal which is a cool concept from the expanded universe but then the blade slowly becoming red from blue was a dumb visual, would have been better if it was just red from the get-go. Yoda cameo was dumb, Yoda would have felt all the lies and bullshit the green chick was feeling and saying and would have sacked her ass. I see some people are saying the lurker on the ocean planet in the dark cave was Darth Plagueis, which would have been awesome to see except it makes no sense to have him there as a hermit in a hut, he was a megawealthy elitist who also had a side hobby as a Sith Lord but he wasn't crawling around caves on backwater planets. Only somewhat not terrible part was some of the lightsaber duel between Saul and Qimir but then they had all this stupid ass shit with the sisters switcheroo.

I really hope this doesn't get renewed, which it looks like it won't.

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I thought that was one of the coven witches, but decaying from isolation. But yeah, if that's plagueis then it's even dumber. The sith are unknown at this point and a sith lord would not need to hide out in a cave like smeagol. I watched another video that pointed out the final episode/show was to set up everything leading up to Star Wars was originally female. The lesbian witches created life. Plagueis steals the idea, which leads to Anakin. OSHA was the first to force choke someone. Basically what Doctor Who did by making the first Doctor a black lesbian space witch.

Chukzombi said:

I thought that was one of the coven witches, but decaying from isolation.

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I expected it to be Mother Koryl, whom we never saw again after she dissipated into dark mist 16 years ago. Qimir never felt like a Sith Master, he's too nice so he must have a Sith Master or at least a dark side user master, which Koryl could have been since she had a motive for revenge and we already knew she had dark side powers. I guess the showrunner will explain everything that her show failed to convey so we may hear the truth of it at some point, but this was really a huge waste of money and time with a very few cool visuals or pickups from the EU sprinkled here and there.

Runnen said:

I expected it to be Mother Koryl, whom we never saw again after she dissipated into dark mist 16 years ago. Qimir never felt like a Sith Master, he's too nice so he must have a Sith Master or at least a dark side user master, which Koryl could have been since she had a motive for revenge and we already knew she had dark side powers. I guess the showrunner will explain everything that her show failed to convey so we may hear the truth of it at some point, but this was really a huge waste of money and time with a very few cool visuals or pickups from the EU sprinkled here and there.

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I think they added that plagueis scene after the fact. Perhaps recently since people were theorizing about it as him being behind it all. It just makes no goddamned sense in the context of this show. How would Qmir and plagueis even know who the fuck Mae or even OSHA are without first being directly linked to the coven witches in some way? The twins existence was covered up and the coven witches are all dead except perhaps Koril. Yet there is no connection or even an explanation about the hole on Brendok, the vergence or even the purpose of the coven? Why would Qmir or plagueis come out of hiding to train Mae unless they already had some intelligence on her powers or the situation between the Jedi and the coven?

Izo said:

So bad an episode. Finally over. What's the next SW in the pipeline, Andor s2?

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Skeleton Crew which is another Filoni memberberry show. but with little kids and Jude Law

I guess it really was Plagueis after all... look how they massacred my boy.

The true tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise was having a cameo in this bullshit.

Chukzombi said:

I think they added that plagueis scene after the fact. Perhaps recently since people were theorizing about it as him being behind it all. It just makes no goddamned sense in the context of this show. How would Qmir and plagueis even know who the fuck Mae or even OSHA are without first being directly linked to the coven witches in some way? The twins existence was covered up and the coven witches are all dead except perhaps Koril. Yet there is no connection or even an explanation about the hole on Brendok, the vergence or even the purpose of the coven? Why would Qmir or plagueis come out of hiding to train Mae unless they already had some intelligence on her powers or the situation between the Jedi and the coven?

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Qimir doesn't even have a story or reason to be there (beside the obvious eye candy for young women and some decent lightsaber fights).

Like, at some point before the story begins he picks up Mae and decides to train her to become a Sith acolyte. So he gives her a quest to go kill the 4 Jedi Masters who fucked up her life/childhood. That's... a test to see if she is skilled and can do evil stuff I guess, but it's really HER quest... he has no real reason to attack those particular Jedi or get them killed, his only beef seems to be with green chick Jedi Master who probably lashed his back with her laser whip (never really elaborated upon), and probably had him expelled from Hogwarts.

So anyway he pretends to be a henchman of himself to keep tabs on Mae, and then once she's on the jungle planet her heart's not really into it anymore and she kind of wants to drop the quest altogether... so he disappears, and kills all the Jedi including the wookiee except for Sol, and then the sisters get switcherooed so he.. just takes Osha now?

He brings her back to his backwater planet, they have lunch, she checks him out naked because lesbian showrunners are experts at how the whole man/woman thing works. Then she tries on his helmet and she freaks out and has witch powers. She's now evil apparently.

So she has a vision of her sister and decides to take Qimir's ship to go there.. which he lets her, for some reason. He also says he's going with her. For some reason. Once there, he thanks Sol for leading him to Mae, but... never really finds Mae or does anything with her. He fights Sol, then when his green chick old master arrives and they clearly have a beef, he.. just disappears. And then he finds the two sisters. Now I suppose both are "evil" since they're at least in agreement to how the Jedi lied to them all along, and killed their mother and destroyed their childhood... but no, instead of taking both sisters back to train both, they suddenly all decide together to wipe Mae's memories completely.

Then he takes Osha back to his planet, to.. train her some more I guess? What's his motive behind anything he does? He looks like he's just so bored on his water planet that he goes on sidequests with newbies to kill time.

If anything since they introduced Plagueis, you should have had Plagueis send Qimir to investigate on the beings created through this Force vergence, and find one of the sisters, and looking for the other since they're basically one being split in two because probably the witches fucked it up.... it would probably still have been a shitshow because the showrunner is a dumbass, but it would have made sense to have Plagueis want to investigate a sorcery he's been looking for his entire existence, and would make sense as to how he later tried to do the same and succeeded with Anakin.

You'd have the Jedi trying to find the sisters to protect them, and Plagueis wanting them both captured to probably dissect them or something but manipulating Mae all along by making her believe her sister is in danger because of the Jedi. Anything would have been better than this tripe really.

Chukzombi said:

Skeleton Crew which is another Filoni memberberry show. but with little kids and Jude Law

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No it isn't. As far as anyone knows it has no links to to the other shows other than being during the Mando time period. This was run by Jon Watts, who did the MCU Spidey movies.

Runnen said:

So anyway he pretends to be a henchman of himself to keep tabs on Mae, and then once she's on the jungle planet her heart's not really into it anymore and she kind of wants to drop the quest altogether... so he disappears, and kills all the Jedi including the wookiee except for Sol, and then the sisters get switcherooed so he.. just takes Osha now?

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there are like, two Maes. i dont mean Mae and OSHA. two Maes. because one Mae wants to kill all the Jedi including Sol. the other Mae wants to turn herself in to the Jedi and then turn Master Sol in to the council so he "can answer for his crimes". the crimes of killing a sith smoke monster. that crime. Qmir is the most bored dude in the galaxy. only time he livened up was when OSHA put on his Dark Helmet disguise which he told her to put on and something took over his mind briefly so his eyes blacked out and prevented him from taking the helmet off her head. for some reason she was unable to do it herself even though her hands were free and she is super powerful in the Force. just like every ending of Disney TV/movies, the last episode/scene is some op female kicking all kinds of ass while men get the shit beat out of them.

I know it's the obvious joke but I can't get over the fact they picked the name Osha for a girl that lives in a citadel made of flammable stone with rickety metal catways and no railings anywhere.

So we are back to saber color is reflective of the users stance? Not just, oh with use fake stones and its easy to make red ones or something or, with just … torture? The stones to make them red because red looks cool?

I probably already know this answer but i’m not very familiar with the EU, but has anyone ever been able to randomly fucking wipe peoples memories before? Just wave your hand and poof, “who am I”?

Wombat said:

The disappointing thing isn't the writing, it's that everything is taken from existing material, from the mechanical aptitude to the immaculate conception.

Which in turn makes me think they're going to Dr Who this, and it turns out everything you white men like was done first by gay black women, you -ists.

So who's Plagueis? Since clearly this is where Star Wars actually started.

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Again, you guys just don't get it, women came up with everything first, no matter how badly the dates are faked on their receipts.

(Apologies for self-quoting, but I just wanted to reiterate how they came up with the worst end result.)

Siliconemelons said:

So we are back to saber color is reflective of the users stance? Not just, oh with use fake stones and its easy to make red ones or something or, with just … torture? The stones to make them red because red looks cool?

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They did it better here: