Why do men keep putting me in the Girlfriend-zone?

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Dumar_sl

shitlord
3,712
4
Kirun is right with the above. The circumstances around your relationships change, not the dynamics of how those relationships work. You become 'more mature', and you derive this definition as being in a committed relationship, but the dynamics haven't changed or never will. It's the same as a guy who says he has 'many women as friends' until he fucks or forms a relationship with one of them; again, the dynamic didn't change, only the circumstances surrounding it.

There's a serious err in not recognizing this difference.

The correct way to comprehend this is not a 'snapshot' of your friendship status at a point in time, but over a length of time. Were you attracted once? Did you fuck? Were you put in the friendzone? Over time these things change. To start purely as a friend and stay a friend at all points along this line, I don't think it exists for men and women.
 
Zodiac

Zodiac

Lord Nagafen Raider
1,200
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Kirun_sl said:
....You make a commitment to a person that you're going to bang them, exclusively...It doesn't mean you don't still look at their friends, sisters, etc. and suddenly no longer want to bang them.If they're hot, you're lying that you don't want to. The same way you want to bang a hot actress, porn star, etc. Hell, you may even have a "friendship" with these ladies...You'd still bang those women if you were single, your ability to suddenly be "friends" with them hasn't really changed.What has changed is that you've entered into a committed relationship and decided your word/love/etc. means more. The dynamic of whether or not women can be "friends" with men hasn't really changed.
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better than i said it pages back

can be "friends" if can't/wouldn't bang
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it all comes back around to banging
 
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Dabamf_sl

shitlord
1,472
0
I don't know why this is so difficult to understand.

If you are a "guy's guy" who tends to like sports, keep most conversation to jokes or ripping on each other or sports, video games etc then you probably have no interest in female friends. That's one end of the spectrum. Guys at the other end of the spectrum have more things in common with women and thus are more likely to be friends with one. They may like female friends because they like to talk at a deeper level, about experiences, relationships, etc. In my case I also like girls because I'm fairly quiet and I like that they tend to be more expressive and talkative. Plenty of folks with female friends have explained precisely how and why they do. If that doesn't apply to you, congratulations you just proved that people are different.

The "OMG HER SHOES" stuff doesn't come out because (1)smart girls don't care about that shit and/or (2)they know not to talk about it with guys. That's a dumb stereotype anyway. Do all guys go around fighting each other and competing on who can bench the most? People aren't stereotypes. If all you interact with are stereotypes, maybe you should reevaluate who you spend time with.
 
Famm

Famm

Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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Translation: don't be threatening and you'll have female friends. And by threatening I mean, enough of a cocky dickhead that she would actually consider fucking you.
 
Kirun

Kirun

Buzzfeed Editor
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Tanoomba_sl said:
"Feminism" bullshit
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My girlfriend is sitting next to me and calling bullshit on everything you've typed. She thinks you're either gay or completely friendzoned. Pics or it didn't happen. The only way men and women can have a truly platonic relationship, is if the male is gay. Even if the female is gay, the man still wants to fuck her. Any woman who engages you on a frequent basis socially(movies, dinner, lunches, etc.)and doesn't make you foot the bill all the time? Yeah, she wants to fuck you as well. Men and women who get along well enough toenjoyeach others' company can't be truly platonic, period.

EDIT:
The "OMG HER SHOES" stuff doesn't come out because (1)smart girls don't care about that shit and/or (2)they know not to talk about it with guys. That's a dumb stereotype anyway. Do all guys go around fighting each other and competing on who can bench the most? People aren't stereotypes. If all you interact with are stereotypes, maybe you should reevaluate who you spend time with.
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I didn't say women do it all the goddamn time, but all women, no matter how goddamn "smart" you say they are, still engage and talk about feminine shit. Period. They are women. It's part of who they are. You fags saying that we're generalizing and stereotyping women are doing the exact same thing with men and the "guy's guy" shit. They are certain shades of grey here and there, but for the most part...men are men and women are women. We've evolved thousands of years to be the way we are. That's not to say in a few thousand more things won't be changed/roles reversed/etc., but we're still extremely primal and instincts are a bitch.
 
Famm

Famm

Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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Kirun_sl said:
We've evolved thousands of years to be the way we are. That's not to say in a few thousand more things won't be changed/roles reversed/etc., but we're still extremely primal and instincts are a bitch.
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No, no! We are equal and start out as completely blank slates! Only evil society makes us believe there are biological gender differences! I'm a unique snowflake, not somemammal!
 
Palum

Palum

what Suineg set it to
27,404
43,522
Famm_sl said:
Translation: don't be threatening and you'll have female friends. And by threatening I mean, enough of a cocky dickhead that she would actually consider fucking you.
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This is sadly true. Chicks don't want to be 'friends' with anyone they possibly want a relationship with either, just like guys. Yes, they'll be friendly, talkative and show up to places you are at just the same. But if you get to the point that a chick feels comfortable actually going out with you to do something with the understanding that there's no dating/sex/whatever, implied or otherwise, that's the legit 'friendzone' and it has nothing to do with friendship. In other words, you get nothing and she uses you as an emotional tampon. Again, not a friendship.

Are there rare exceptions? Sure, but don't tell me that you are truly friends with tons of females and you're getting enough out of all those relationships that could be considered quid pro quo.
 
Kirun

Kirun

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Palum_sl said:
don't tell me that you are truly friends with tons of females and you're getting enough out of all those relationships that could be considered quid pro quo.
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This. They are either using you emotionally or for monetary reasons. If they aren't, they want to bang you and you've essentially "friendzoned" them.
 
Tanoomba

Tanoomba

ジョーディーすれいやー
<Banned>
10,170
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Trollface_sl said:
Notruescotsman.
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Ha ha! Nice try. No, really!
Do you have any idea how warped the idea of feminism is on this message board? It's based entirely on circle-jerking misogynists pointing and laughing at pics of ridiculous young people who wrote silly things on cards. Sorry bro, that ain't feminism. Nice colors, though.


Kirun_sl said:
My girlfriend is sitting next to me and calling bullshit on everything you've typed. She thinks you're either gay or completely friendzoned. Pics or it didn't happen. The only way men and women can have a truly platonic relationship, is if the male is gay. Even if the female is gay, the man still wants to fuck her. Any woman who engages you on a frequent basis socially(movies, dinner, lunches, etc.)and doesn't make you foot the bill all the time? Yeah, she wants to fuck you as well. Men and women who get along well enough toenjoyeach others' company can't be truly platonic, period.
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Well, apparently your girlfriend is as clueless as you are. But then, she's probably used to stroking your ego by now.
What makes you think you're in a better position than I am to judge my friendships with women? I'm not gay and I have truly platonic relationships with females. Guess that makes you wrong, regardless of what your girlfriend thinks.
Oh wait, did you say "PERIOD"? I guess that invalidates any counterarguments... shit, you got me on a technicality.


Kirun_sl said:
I didn't say women do it all the goddamn time, but all women, no matter how goddamn "smart" you say they are, still engage and talk about feminine shit. Period. They are women. It's part of who they are. You fags saying that we're generalizing and stereotyping women are doing the exact same thing with men and the "guy's guy" shit. They are certain shades of grey here and there, but for the most part...men are men and women are women. We've evolved thousands of years to be the way we are. That's not to say in a few thousand more things won't be changed/roles reversed/etc., but we're still extremely primal and instincts are a bitch.
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I love how "smart" has to be in quotes when used to talk about women. And when did I stereotype about "guy's guy" shit? I'm the one rejecting that garbage.
Yes, Dr. Penisvaj, men and women are biologically different. But guess what? We men don't club women and drag them into our caves by the hair anymore. Mature men and mature women are more than capable of being friends. Does that make you uncomfortable? Fine, don't be friends with women. You'd suck at it anyway.
Oh wait, it's because I'm being used and don't realize it, or because I think they're hot which somehow invalidates the friendship? In other words, my friendships with women aren't real friendships?Notruescotsman. (Take notes, Trollface)


Palum_sl said:
In other words, you get nothing and she uses you as an emotional tampon. Again, not a friendship.
Are there rare exceptions? Sure, but don't tell me that you are truly friends with tons of females and you're getting enough out of all those relationships that could be considered quid pro quo.
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A lot of you guys have difficulty accepting that not having sex with a girl doesn't mean getting "nothing". It's also unreasonably difficult for you to understand that women don't just want a guy friend as an "emotional tampon".
I'm not going to use the word "tons", but I am truly friends with many females and I am getting enough out of all those relationships that they could be considered quid pro quo.
Are you going to tell me I'm wrong somehow?
 
TrollfaceDeux

TrollfaceDeux

Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
<Bronze Donator>
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Tanoomba_sl said:
Ha ha! Nice try. No, really!
Do you have any idea how warped the idea of feminism is on this message board? It's based entirely on circle-jerking misogynists pointing and laughing at pics of ridiculous young people who wrote silly things on cards. Sorry bro, that ain't feminism. Nice colors, though.
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Continue.

No true scotsman. (Take notes, Trollface)
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...you misused it.

02-No-True-Scotsman.jpg
 
Drinsic

Drinsic

privileged excrementlord
5,817
6,260
Women are bad drivers and men are better at opening jars. What the fuck is wrong with you?
 
Kirun

Kirun

Buzzfeed Editor
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15,822
Tanoomba_sl said:
Ha ha! Nice try. No, really!
Do you have any idea how warped the idea of feminism is on this message board? It's based entirely on circle-jerking misogynists pointing and laughing at pics of ridiculous young people who wrote silly things on cards. Sorry bro, that ain't feminism. Nice colors, though.
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Oh, boy! I can't wait for a lesson on feminism and how wonderful it is from a man! Gee, I'm so glad I get to learn about this contrived drivel!


What makes you think you're in a better position than I am to judge my friendships with women? I'm not gay and I have truly platonic relationships with females. Guess that makes you wrong, regardless of what your girlfriend thinks.
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Please describe to me what a "typical" outing is with you and your gals. I can't wait to hear this..


I love how "smart" has to be in quotes when used to talk about women.
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Get the fuck over yourself, feminazi. It wasn't intended as a slight or a disparaging remark. Of course, you and your "feminism" ilk take it as such, because of your convoluted sense of self-worth.

But guess what? We men don't club women and drag them into our caves by the hair anymore.
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Hyperbole much? Just because we tend to still be mostly "primal" in our instincts, it doesn't mean we're still fucking cavemen.

Mature men and mature women are more than capable of being friends. Does that make you uncomfortable? Fine, don't be friends with women. You'd suck at it anyway.
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Oh, they surely are. My girlfriend and I aregreatfriends. Friends who bang.

A lot of you guys have difficulty accepting that not having sex with a girl doesn't mean getting "nothing".
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It's not about getting "nothing". It's the fact that you can't explain to me what a woman offers via friendship, on atrulyplatonic level, that I'm not better served by getting from a male.

It's also unreasonably difficult for you to understand that women don't just want a guy friend as an "emotional tampon".
I'm not going to use the word "tons", but I am truly friends with many females and I am getting enough out of all those relationships that they could be considered quid pro quo.
Are you going to tell me I'm wrong somehow?
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Pretty much you're wrong, yeah. These women are either lying to you and want to bang you or you're supporting their emotional/monetary "needs" somehow. No woman wants to be truly platonic friends with a male who isn't gay.
 
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